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Showing posts from 2009

On Being Witty

I was in a mad rush to finish up my Christmas shopping last Monday. Every year, mid-November I think, "I'll just buy a few things for the family and call it done" and every year, by December 20th, I've gotten gifts for tons of people, and spent way too much money. The thing is that I get an idea in my head, and then it's a mini-project that I have to finish.

I was still missing a few items, but I had a moment to stop in to Best Buy and pick them up. It was probably my fourth trip in as many days. At Best Buy, there is one long line, and when you get to the front, the next available person takes you. I approached the front of the line, items in hand and gave the various lines the once over.

There was the kid who's so weird, standing next to him would make me Steve Urkel look like George Clooney. I remember once reading that the key to women was to always hang with a friend who is uglier than you are. I considered asking him if he'd like to go to a Ch…

Now Accepting Applications

One of my personal rules is to not blog about video games if possible. It just doesn't seem that the general population would have any clue what I'm talking about, but I think this is a special occasion. This isn't just any video game.

Grab your biggest red marker and throw a circle around next Sunday on your calendar. On November 15th, 2009, it is on. If you're someone who has bladder control issues I suggest you go grab a spare pair of chonies right now because the news I'm about to drop on you is pee-your-pants exciting.

That's right, New Super Mario Wii comes out next Sunday.

So what's the big deal you ask? "New Super Mario" is a new line of Mario games designed in the image of the original Mario game(s). You know, the one from your childhood(Assuming your childhood encompassed 1986). There's a run button, a jump button, and not much else. This is the closest you can get to reliving your past without a Delorean, a crazy doctor, and o…

Spare Some Change?

I handle change about as well as a fingerless bum with a hole in his cup, but lately it seems like I haven't had much choice in the matter. There have been changes with work, personal life and my friends.

The biggest change of all though has been in my status. No, not that status. I've been a brother and a son forever, but today, for the first time, I became an uncle. Let the Stamos/Dukes of Hazard jokes begin.

My sister Anna went through 26 hours of labor, but eventually Adrian relented and came out to meet the world.

What's the appropriate amount of time to wait before I start training him to help pick up on cute girls?

Congrats to Josh and Anna.

I promise to return to blogging some day soon. It's not that I haven't been writing, it just hasn't really been Sesquipedalis type material. Maybe A can be my new inspiration.

A Step In the Right Direction

Crap, I need water.

This was supposed to be a rush trip to the grocery store, but it suddenly occurred to me that the basket I was holding in my right hand would be insufficient. I was out of bottled water.
Now now, before you start writing one of the following responses, hear me out.
1. Bottled water?!?! What about the earth? Plastic waste is responsible for blah blah blah. Al Gore said blah blah.
2. Bottled water?!?! You pay money for water, tool?

I had never paid for water until I moved in to the Landmark 3 years ago. It's a neat building, but it's also 40 years old and has very bad plumbing. If the faucet has been off for a while, then the water comes out with a rather orange tint that I learned the hard way doesn't have a matching orange flavor. I switched to a Brita filter and a few water bottles, but for guests I try to keep some bottled water stocked.
It had been a pretty crappy week in general which, in my small circle of friends, included: a break up, a break…

A Thousand Days in the Making

Part 6: The Thousandth Day

Two weeks passed without a word from Rachael. I was already planning a formal apology to the whole family and a blog entry about how I had, "Scared off Mandi's sister" It had only taken me six months too!

Day 999(July 5th) -

The IM window popped up. Rachael explained that life had gotten crazy, and she had retreated from certain social aspects.

She needed her own special alone time? She's prefect!

Rachael and I spent a few hours IMing back and forth, and then another two hours on the phone. I felt like a 15 year old talking to his first girl on the phone. It was fun. It was funny. It was exciting. An enjoyment of phone conversation wasn't something that I had felt in a very very long time.

Up until this point in our relationship, everything had been very nice and cordial, but for whatever reason, the gloves had finally come off. The girl I knew as always being the polite sweet girl from Kansas threw me a few zingers. She made a few off color jokes. I …

A Thousand Days in the Making

Part 5: Rachael Returns the Favor

In April/May I was going through one of my special alone time phases. When I'm in one of these phases, the first thing to drop off the map is my ability to respond to emails. The inbox was piling up at a steady rate, and every glance at it prompted a begrudging thought of, "Wow. I really need to reply to some of these."

Day 939(May 6th, 2009) -

I was at home avoiding the world when the little mail icon popped up on my computer. It was a Facebook friend invite from Rachael, the girl I had been meaning to write back for the past 3 weeks. I accepted the invitation and opened up the chat window to apologize.

"I thought I had scared you off with my last email" she began.

Her? Scare me off? What had that email said?

I quickly switched back to my email and began reading.
Joke about me being silly.
Work talk
Blog talk
More jokes.

Invitation for coffee


I went about cleaning up my mess as well as I could by apologizing profusely and simultaneously trying not to s…

Nerd Word(s): Special Alone Time

Special Alone Time
- Noun

1. My semi-annual need for a lot of alone time.

[ Origin: A few times a year I become a hermit and shun the outside world. Erik has been known to refer to this as my "Special Alone Time" ]

- examples
1. December '08
2. October '07
3. Summer '04

Nerd Rule(s): Female Naming Conventions

When discussing any female, whether there is a possibility of romance or not, she should be referred to by a geographical location until such a time that her real name is suitable, or an alternative nickname has been set in place and is agreed upon by all parties.

[ Origin: My good friend Adam is currently living in Germany. Through the miracles of modern technology(Instant Messaging), we've been able to keep in touch and talk on a near daily basis. One popular topic is women, and due to my bad memory, it was necessary to develop an alternative naming scheme that was easy to remember. ]

- examples
1. Ana - Chile
2. Jo - Chicago
3. Ruth - Ohio
4. Mandi - Montana
5. Rachael - Kansas

A Thousand Days in the Making

Part 4: Jesse Delivers the Triple No No

I know, I know. I'm a bit behind on all this. No excuses, I've been busy. We're finally getting to the meat of the story though. If you've followed the blog for a while we're introducing a new Rachael in this story. Fortunately, she spells it differently than the "other" Rachel.

Also, I should point out that I took the link to her blog out because it's now private. And before you ask, yes it's because she didn't want you reading it(Kidding).

Day 828(January 16th, 2009) -

My phone buzzed around lunchtime to let me know that I had an email. Oddly enough it wasn't work related, or even a personal message. It was an email to my Sesquipedalis account. Before the Shaq piece, that account got about as much email as Isaiah Washington gets gay fan mail. Even more odd was that it was from a girl, identified in the From field of the message as Rachael.

Hi there,
I found your blog in a round about way through my sister Mandi's. She convin…

NerdMory Word(s): My List

My List
- Noun

1. The list of people(normally five) that you can have sex with and not be considered a cheater. The list is usually comprised of celebrities or famous people.

[ Origin: I think there was an episode of Friends about it, but the idea has been around forever. ]

- example
1. Shirley Manson
2. Felicia Day
3. Tina Fey
4. Rue Mcclanahan
5. Steve Nash

A Thousand Days in the Making

Part 3: Geremy Saves the Blog

The second half of 2008 was a rough one for the blog. After two and a half years of writing, I had completely run out of ideas. I was repeating jokes and stories, and nothing felt new. I decided to branch out and try some different things. I wrote fiction stories based in reality, or posts with a comedic slant. Some of it worked, and some of it didn't, but after really trying for a few months, I was kind of tired of it. As the year drew to a close, it again felt like the blog was dying.

Day 823 (January 10th, 2009) -

The Cardinals were playing the Panthers in the second round of the playoffs, and the gang had decided to meet up at our typical watering hole to watch the game. The Cards doing well happens once, maybe twice in a lifetime, so we were all fairly excited. My sister even decided that Fitz was on her list. Her boyfriend Andrew decided that Fitz might be on his list too.

"A friend of mine that I haven't seen in a while is coming up to meet us", Todd G…

A Thousand Days in the Making

Supplementary Writings

This is the story I told at my Grandmother, Dean Martin's funeral:
My Grandmother was a pretty great woman, but anyone who's here probably already knew that. She always wanted the best for her grandkids, and did a lot to look out for us. I'm sure if she was here right now she'd be straightening my tie, and licking her thumb and trying to get the little spiky part in the front of my hair to "lay down".

Grandma obviously influenced the three of us in a lot of ways, both directly and indirectly, and I'd like to share one story of how she changed who I am today. She made me promise that I'd never tell anyone this, but I think it's probably alright if I share this with everyone now.

When I was about 12 years old I decided that what I really needed was a computer. I also decided that I needed one by the time I went to High School. I saved almost every penny I could for 3 years, but as the summer before High School came, I still didn't have the m…

A Thousand Days in the Making

Part 2: Mary Saves the Blog

Pop Quiz. Jesse has been absent from blogging because:
A) He was commissioned by the state of AZ to paint a mural in the courtroom of downtown Phoenix.
B) He's been sick.
C) His mathlete team advanced to the finals and he had to go on tour.
D) He's been busy with various peeps.
E) He's lazy.

No matter the answer, I apologize for the delay. This story is long enough as it is(Somewhere between 23 and 27 parts), and the last thing we need is a long break in the middle. So, back to blogging.

This part of the story hits a bit of a downturn, but I think it's important to fill in some of the gaps for anyone who's been reading for a while. It's important to note why the blog needed saving. Despite the language used here, no need to worry about me. Things only get written about once I'm okay with them.

My condo was one of the few in the building that wasn't remodeled, and as such I had moved in much earlier than anyone else. I'd spent months a bit wor…

A Thousand Days in the Making

Part 1: My New Blog Buddy

Day 1 (October 10th, 2006) -

After a few weeks of working my nerdy little ass off, I had finished a very major project at work in the eleventh hour. This project had kept me at my desk until midnight more often than not, and I found myself suddenly relaxed and free of stress. On this particular day, the clock struck three and I was done. I had given the company my time, and while it was best that I stay till five, all work stopped and my attention drifted to my new writing project.

It occurred to me that I hadn't actually read other blogs. It was time to look out and see what the rest of the world was writing about, and to do that I started clicking the "Next Blog" button at the top of the page.

I was more disappointed than the guy who financed The Adventures of Pluto Nash. I constantly joke about being a bad writer, but the average blog makes me look like William Shakespeare.

Spanish Blog - Next Blog
Picture Blog - Next Blog
Spanish Blog - Next Blog

A Thousand Days in the Making

The Prologue

The plan was to write this entry later on, but since it ties well in to my last one, and I find it interesting, I've decided to push some other ones back.

Time wise this story takes place over a 1000 day period of time. Yes, I did the math, and that's accurate give or take about 5 days. A few of the emails that had the exact dates are gone because myspace is lame. If you're involved in this story, and can correct me, feel free.

Since this story is rather lengthy, and completely related to the blog itself, I decided to start with a little history of Sesquipedalis and how it came to be. I hope you enjoy it.

One of the very best parts about writing an autobiographical story blog is to see the butterfly effect in motion, and how the smallest things in your past affect your present. You get to see snapshots in time of your life, emotions and opinions. You get to see how those things change with the gift of hindsight. In this particular story, the part of the butterfly is…


I apologize that this post is a little serious and self serving. I allow myself one every now and again, hopefully you will too. I promise, we'll get back to stories of me being an idiot soon enough.

Three years ago Saturday, I posted a poorly written story on my myspace blog about my mother trying to set me up with a lesbian. Somehow that story snowballed, and while the myspace profile is all but abandoned, I've now published over 200 stories that mostly deal with me striking out with women. At least that's what it is on the surface. Behind the scenes, at least for me, the blog is a little bit of therapy. It's a lesson in not taking myself too seriously. It's a chance to be creative for someone who's completely uncreative. Most importantly, it's a reminder that life is fantastic.

I actually kept a private journal for about a year's time. That was 6 or 7 years ago. I keep it around as a remind of just how lame I truly can be, but I haven't…

When a Celebrity Asks if you Want a Picture, You Say Yes

My #1 Pretend Girlfriend Sarah sent me a text this afternoon asking if I wanted to go to the Improv tonight. My schedule was relatively free, and a quick check of the calendar showed that Iliza Shlesinger was headlining. I don't remember watching much of the last season of Last Comic Standing, but I do remember Iliza from the show.

A quick Google search revealed that she was actually the winner.

Good for her. I remember her being funny.

Tickets were purchased, and a few hours later Sarah and I found ourselves waiting in line to enter. As we approached the door, Iliza walked by.

"There's your girlfriend" Sarah said, slightly snickering.

"Huh? Oh." I turned and saw the comedian coming up the steps.

"She's kind of tiny." Sarah pointed out, "You're so in love with her."

Sarah was probably right. Short, cute, energetic, and funny? If that sounds familiar, you've either been reading my dream journal, or you peeked at last year…

Elevator Humor.... part 3?

This evening I had a pretend girlfriend date with my friend Sarah. We hit up the CPK, did a little shopping, grabbed some fro-yo, and watched a little Tivo back at my place. It was a solid evening, and at the end of the night we found ourselves in my elevator heading towards the parking lot.

Sarah and I regularly trade long winded stories, and on this particular evening I had interrupted her a few times. As we descended in the elevator she pretended to be upset with me.

"You never let me finish!"

At this point the elevator reached the first floor and the doors began to open. Sarah and I had been play fighting all night, and we know each other well enough to take things a bit far at times.

"I don't care if the ladies finish. It's all about me. That's my move," I responded.

As the last word came out of my mouth I exited the elevator and noticed a blond girl standing to the left waiting to get on. I believe it was the Cardinal's cheerleader that I&…

My Recent Trip to Court

We're going to completely shift gears for a second and I'm going to post something completely serious about my recent jury duty. I wrote this out for someone else, but I've decided to post it for now. It's by no means polished or amusing. I may edit it as I see fit, or remove it all together.

I had to serve on a jury this week. A lot of people seem to be interested in the case and how it turned out. It's odd how something this serious can affect you emotionally for a few days. It's the same feeling I had when my work was raided by ICE and the ATF a few years back (for those who know that story). Maybe it only affects me in this way because being completely serious for two days straight is almost impossible for me.

The Prosecution story started off like this:

Back in 2006 an officer sees a car driving around 9 at night with its headlights off, doing about 10 miles an hour as it approaches a light. At the last minute it jerks suddenly in to the left hand …

Nerd Word(s): The Tuck and Roll

The Tuck and Roll
- technique

1. Literally: A method of egress from a moving vehicle.
2. Figuratively: Dropping a friend off without turning the car off, and using a very quick stop.

[ Origin: Unknown. ]

- usage
1. I need to drop him off at his girlfriend's house. That woman scares me though, so I'm just giving him the tuck and roll.
2. That's a busy street. I can't just stop in the middle.
No worries man. I'll just tuck and roll.

My Partner in Crime

Part Four: The Heist

This is part four of a multi-part story. If you'd like to read the whole thing, click here and read from the bottom up.

Saturday morning Jo and I woke up and quickly set out in search of adventure. There was much to do, and the Jo-cathalon 2009 was already half over! The day would include the following activites(both planned and unplanned):
A trip to the Tempe Center for the ArtsLunch at the FatburgerDiscussion of designer jeans with a store clerk(Jo discussed. I mostly just stood there looking like a lump on a log)A walk by Tempe Town LakeA picture(Or two) with a cactus for JoA Harley Davidson store visit for dad giftsScooter shoppingDinner with Jo's friend Christine and my sisterDinner finished up, and by nine we were back on the road to my house feeling both full and extremely tired from the day's events. I was out of planned events, and beginning to worry.

Is this the moment she finally figures out how lame I really am?

Just as the panic began to set in, it was Jo to t…

My Partner in Crime

The Epilogue

Part four was supposed to be the ending to this story, but last week Jo and I had the following conversation via text(Because I'm afraid to talk to girls on the phone). I thought this made a fitting ending to the story.

For those wondering, yeah, I'm wordy in text messages too.

Me: I've had like 10 people ask me about me and you now. I didn't even know 10 people read my blog. Everyone wants to know how this story ends. I think you're the Sesquipedalis ringer

Jo: We need a better ending. Something with jazz hands.

Me: Next time I see you, I'll get drunk for the first time ever and hit on you. You can throw a drink in my face, plant a big kiss on my sister, and then I "Never heard from her again"
Either that, or we could drive to Vegas and get Married. I'm good either way.

Jo: You're on to something there. She's totally my type

Nerd Games: Hide and Go Trophy

If you've been keeping up with the blog for a while, you'll remember that back in March Sean and I threw the St. Patty's day party to end all St. Patty's day parties. If you don't remember, feel free to click here and read all about it.

The party was a huge success. There was beer pong, rock band, and boxing. I even took a little time out for some Photo-Bombing:

I myself had no intention of participating in the boxing, but once I was challenged by a few women, my hands were tied. I'm pretty sure that I ended the night with the best record, but when it came down to it, everyone had been beaten by the most unlikely person.

My co-worker Dave(AKA "Valley D", AKA "The Safety Dance Developer") destroyed everyone in the ring. It's odd because Dave is basically the real life version of Shaggy from the Scooby-Doo cartoons. He's a peace loving hippie who's famous quote is, "It's cool man". Unfortunately for the rest of u…

My Partner in Crime

Part Three: The Arrival

This is part three of a multi-part story. If you'd like to read the whole thing, go here and read from the bottom up.

They say you don't get a second chance to make a first impression, and with that in mind I planned a little something extra for Jo's arrival. She had once given a very accurate description on her blog of what kind of man she was after(click here to read). I'm about as close to the description of starting center for the Phoenix Suns as I am to Jo's description of the perfect man, but a quick trip to Easley's costume shop would fix that.

While I found the costume amusing and knew that Jo would get the reference, what didn't occur to me until I arrived at the airport was that security wouldn't be in on the joke. At first the stares and pointing were amusing, but my mind quickly started imagining scenarios where I end up in a windowless room explaining why I'm dressed in a disguise as a South American. The last thing I needed was to b…

My Partner in Crime

Part Two: The Realization

When we last left our hero, he was happier than Kirstie Alley after Luby's opened an all you can eat buffet near her house. His current e-crush Jo had recently agreed not just to meet him, but to stay with him for an entire weekend. It was like Christmas in April, and his mind was naturally racing. We now return to this week's episode already in progress

"Wait wait wait. The redhead? The one you showed me the picture of?" my sister attempted to make sense of my ramblings from the other side of the phone.

It was too early in the morning for a real explanation, but I had to talk about it with someone. The only person in the office at this hour was Liang, and I just wasn't ready for that yet.

"Yes, that one. Jo."

"Oh. No, she's too hot to even be talking to you. You sure this isn't just some elaborate set up to steal your crap?"

"Well. I mean... no. But it seems like a lot of effort for a couple of video game consoles and a bea…

Chair Building

Back in August of last year I made a silly video about a chair. That story can be found here.

Well, last night my friend Adam suggested I submit it to iReport. They were looking for Tetris related content for the 25th anniversary of Tetris. I followed Adam's advice, and awoke to an email from someone at

My video was tagged with an "On CNN" mark, and I later found it here on the cnn video site:

I haven't gotten any other feedback from them, so I don't know if it's airing on TV or not. I find the whole thing fairly amusing, because without any explanation the video makes no sense. Hell, it makes no sense even with explanation.

The results are in!

You'll have to forgive me a bit for dragging my feet on determining a winner to the free lunch contest. The past few weeks have been a bit hectic, and just as I went to finish this off, my laptop died. For me that's a kick in the junk the size of which you wouldn't believe.

Just like last year, we'll take a look at the guesses before we get to the answer:

$41.38 - Exzavier
$65.87 - Anna
$68.43 - Servant
$83.17 - Dave
$87.53 - Ghedoicy
$95.96 - TR
$104.00 - Matt
$110.50 - Liang
$111.38- Motz
$111.69- Nikki
$122.12- Miranda
$136.00- Jo
$141.67- Adam
$152.37- Jesse
$158.00- Megan
$169.69- Beadle
$191.43- Rose
$202.00- Andrew
$212.00- Stacy

And the grand total was....

Just like I predicted, a cute girl who is in to short nerds won it all. Everyone congratulate Adam on his win. I'll get with you later on how we manage to get you a free lunch from 5600 miles away(That's 9100 Kilometers for you Adam).

Please make this product

I was about 12 when it first hit. And it hit in a big way. I was watching a Sun's game with the family. We were set to play the Portland Trail Blazers that night.

Mom walked in to the TV room in the back of the house and asked, "Who are we playing? Oh... Porkland"


I brushed it off. We all make mistakes, and my family is from Arkansas. The fact that we can speak and know how to read puts us a cut above the rest.

In the first half she would scream, "AJ threw the ball away!" after then point guard Kevin Johnson made a bad pass.

I think they call him KJ mom...

Later in the evening mom would announce, "Chamberland is having a good night, but the Sun's really need to find a way to stop Drixoral."

She was of course referring to then Power Forward/Center Tom Chambers and Portland star Clyde "The Glide" Drexler.

At this point the gloves came off, and the entire family started giving mom some good natured ribbing that has continued to th…

At Least I'm Not the Only One

Greetings from lovely, slightly overcast, San Diego. I'm currently midway through packing things up for the return trip home tomorrow, but thought I'd duck out to sit on the patio overlooking the ocean for a minute with my best friend in the whole world, the laptop. While you're here, don't forget to enter the free lunch contest here.

I was walking through Carlsbad Village today enjoying two of my favorite vacation sports: food and people watching. I was exiting a local restaurant, sandwich in hand, when a girl with bright blue hair walked by.

Wow, that's cool.

Apparently I wasn't the only one who noticed. A guy sitting at an outside table commented, "I like your hair"

"Thanks" she said without really turning, and continued on her way.

She was almost out of earshot when the guy, undaunted tried again, "Where'd you get it done?"

"My husband's a hairdresser. We do each other's hair."


"Um... well... u…

Nerd Games: The Free Lunch

Year Two

Me going on vacation is about as frequent as a Halley's Comet visit, but I'm going to be out in Cali for almost a week coming up. With that in mind I figured it was time to toss up the Free Lunch contest for this year. I don't think change accumulated as fast this year as it normally does, but then the contest ran a little long. That means this year it's anyone's game. Good luck, and see you in a week or two!

Just like last year I'm inviting everyone to guess how much money is in my change jar. The closest to the exact dollar amount gets a free lunch from/with me.

Feel free to comment, email, IM, or even tweet your guess to me. A winner will be picked in roughly 10 days.

1. The location of the dinner must be mutually decided upon, and the value per meal not to exceed 25 dollars. If the winner lives out of state, then some alternative prize will be awarded.
2. I reserve the right to kick anyone out of the competition for any reason.
3. Results may be mod…

My Partner in Crime

Part One: The Invitation

In early 2009, as they are wont do, plans changed. At first Jo's move to Phoenix was delayed for a month, but soon that delay was put on indefinite status. It was Episode One all over again. Huge excitement. Big let down.

I had other things going on though, so I took the disappointment in stride. Jo and I kept up with our online back and forth, and somehow it just worked. It was odd to have someone who got all my jokes and weirdness without much effort, and I enjoyed the long distance pen pal. She quickly became my go to girl for all things Internet.

One night in March I picked her brain about all of the attention my blog had been receiving and how I should go about handling it. We cracked jokes and swapped stories while each preparing our dinners. I mused over the fact that we were eating dinner together from a thousand miles away. Out of my last few meals with a member of the opposite sex, this had by far been the best.

Does that say something about me?

Jo went to bed,…

This is Not the Post You Were Looking For

Yesterday the swine flu hit the Internet. No, I don't mean the actual flu. I mean the general pandemonium of it. Twitter was on fire with messages about it. News sites were running reports. At the end of the day, what good did it all do?

Let's keep in mind that roughly 155,000 people die each day for various reasons. It's really not time to freak out yet. That being said, I find it amusing that while the whole world was in an uproar, someone at the U.S. Department of Health was finding my blog by searching for Shaq:

Today I went to the Podiatrist. Apparently I have a very mild case of Plantar Fasciitis if anyone really cared. The fantastic part is the location of the doctor's office. It resides right here on the second floor of this building. Anyone see the problem? Two points if you do.

Alexis Gentry, the new Twitter voice of the Suns, and head coach Alvin Gentry's daughter recently asked the fans for nicknames for Goran Dragic. I posted a reply, which s…

The Blog Serves a Purpose

I feel like I've been taking more crap than a Dutch porn star about my blog lately. People aren't happy with this post or that post, or they're not happy with the frequency of posts. Well, there's a lot going on, and it's sort of hard to distill it all down to a manageable story for the blog. I realize in retrospect that I posted the last "Nerd Words" a bit early, since this entry doesn't use the term. I just double checked though, and it turns out that I don't care too much.

I'd like to take the time to write out this entire story before posting it as this story sets up the base for a few more, but I feel the need to post something. So, let's just wing it and see how it goes, shall we?

In the mean time, if anyone out there would like a job ghost writing for Sesquipedalis feel free to email me.

In 2007 I somehow ended up on a "Social Networking" site. I believe I was lured in by a test that promised to either tell me which…

Nerd Word(s): The Ten PM Rule

The Ten PM Rule
- words to live by

1. No writing personal emails after Ten at night.

[ Origin: I used to go visit Ana a lot, and it was a long drive back to my house from Chandler. I had a major crush on her, so the drive home was usually spent thinking about her and how the evening had gone. When I got home I'd generally have a whole new set of things that I wanted to talk to her about so I'd write an email that was usually overly wussy and emo.

After a while I had to make a rule: "No more emails after 10 pm". ]

- usage
1. Yeah, I almost wrote you a reply, but I had a lot to say and it was after 10 so I figured it could wait till the morning.

Call Me Sweet Pea

One of the more interesting parts of high rise living is the diversity of the neighbors.  At first I took it upon myself to get to know everyone I could, but with over 200 units in the building, I quickly found that my efforts were futile.  In the down economy, the residents rotate on a regular basis, and by the time you've learned a person's name, they're gone.

To combat this phenomenon the twins and I devised a simple "Friends" like naming scheme to facilitate in the necessity of passing building gossip.

"So, I ran in to Psycho Blond Chick today"
"Wait... Is she the one across from Scary Racist Dude?"
"No no no.  That's Angry Fighting Couple.  Psycho Blond chick is one unit over"

The interesting thing about Scary Racist Dude's unit is that it's always occupied by someone who is just off.

After Scary Racist Dude it was Pot Smoker Pete.  PSP was then replaced by the most recent occupant, Crazy Witch Lady. I'm not saying th…