Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Jesse gets Zugged

A few months ago I was reading an article at www.zug.com about the best office pranks ever. I'm a big fan of the site, and the creator John Hargrave, but with all due respect I felt we had done it better. I left a comment on the entry with a link back to our prank, and left it at that.

Soon after I got an email from John asking me to rewrite the story so he could host it on Zug. I double checked with Sean since it was, after all, his prank, and then agreed.

Unfortunately life got a little busy, and I never got around to writing the article. John emailed me again after the holidays, and I finally got off my ass and wrote it. It's now one of the featured articles on the site.



Monday, January 18, 2010

The Valentine's Day Wrap Up Part 1:

J.R. Wins

I realize it's been an exceptionally long time since I last "blogged". I had a whole post written out explaining why, but then I realized, nobody cares. I've decided to kick off my (semi)return to blogging with a few stories that have been sitting in the vault for a while.

This particular story is probably one of the bigger ones of my life, but then 5 days later I met Shaq at a diner, and that story sort of occupied my time for a while.

Back in February I ran a contest to send flowers out on Valentine's day. The Valentine's day contest has become a bit of a tradition around here, but last year I took it to a whole new level sending all manner of prizes and gifts. Despite the fact that there were numerous entries deserving of flowers, and despite the fact that no inmate received flowers, I still feel like J.R. was really the winner. He took upon himself to not only enter the contest and provide insightful comments on the other entries, he also did a little work of his own.

Friday was the day before Valentine's, but most of the "prizes" were scheduled to arrive that day. Only for the "big winner" did I actually pay the extra ten bucks for Saturday delivery. As I strolled in to work, I was mentally making notes of what was going where, and double checking to make sure I hadn't missed something. For 2009 it wasn't just a contest, it was an operation.

I entered my office and became the envy of every extremely myopic drunken 22 year old female. I had received flowers from the Baller himself.

Flowers from a baller

J.R. didn't just send me flowers for Valentine's. He took it one step further and included the following, heartfelt poem:
Bitches Ain't Shit,
But Tricks And Hoes.
Maybe It's Time You Give Up
On Girls, And Switch to Bros.
Have A Bro-Mantic
Valentine's Day!

By noon things were on trucks and "out for delivery". All told there were 3 sets of flowers, 5 gift boxes from The Popcorn Factory, and one set of two dozen long stemmed Roses.

I hate sitting around to see how a plan unfolds, and since I had no particular Valentine of my own, when Kendall, my 6'1 modelesque friend, invited me to L.A. to hang out for the weekend I took the rest of the day off work and headed home to pack. As I walked in to my building I ran in to Agnes, my ninety-two year old building crush.

"So, any Valentine's day weekend plans for you?" I asked.
"Valentine's? Love?" she looked at me like I was crazy, "I'm too old for that stuff."

I reached the eleventh floor, and minutes later I had a weekend's worth of clothes packed in to a travel suitcase. I was about to leave when I spotted J.R.'s flowers. I didn't think they'd do much good in my place since I'd be in L.A., so I took them with me.

As I walked out of the Landmark I handed them to the guy working the front desk.

"Could you give these to Agnes for me?"
"And who should I say they're from?"
"Oh. Just tell her they're from a secret admirer."