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Showing posts from November, 2006

I think I'm in Love Pt. 2

I'm going to be out of town until Monday, and chances are without Internet access. I'm currently working on a blog entry detailing the aftermath of my "Weekend with the Twins", but as it's unlikely to be finished any time soon, I thought I'd share a shorter, more recent story.

I've known Ruth and Rachel for almost 3 weeks now. Out of those 3 weeks there have been probably 3 days total where I didn't see one or the other. That leaves roughly 18 days, and in those 18 days there have probably been 30 moments or incidents where one or both of the girls made me stop and take notice. There have been 30 moments where I got a little weak in the knees, or felt a slight tug on the heart. There have been 30 moments where I felt like a kid in 8th grade with a crush on the cute girl in class.

On Tuesday Rachel commented that she was out of toothpaste and Ruthie said the same. I went next door and grabbed a tube of travel sized toothpaste that I had from my last trip…

Apparently 7 inches means a lot to the ladies...

Note to the Reader: Life's been busy, blogging has been slow. I'm not doing this story justice, but I feel the need to get something out.

Let's take a trip in the way back machine all the way back to my last post. I purposely left off some of the details of the events that took place at the "party" as they didn't exactly pertain to a post discussing how I met Ruth and Rachel. Now that we're writing a post describing how we met Kendall it is time to discuss said events(When I say we I mean me.)

As I said before, the only knowledge of Kendall that I had prior to meeting her was that she only dated guys who were 6'3 or taller. Being 5'5" with my shoes on I found this a bit offensive, and was prepared to write her off as a snob. It's not that I need to have a chance with a girl to accept her... it's the principle of the matter. Short guys need love too. Besides, she's only 6'0.

Well, she came to the mini-party, but I was busy with ot…

Why Jesse now closes the door when using the restroom: Sunday(Resolution)

Note to the reader: This is the final chapter of a three part story. I'd recommend reading the two below first if you haven't already. It should also be noted that this story, while exciting for me, doesn't exactly have an "ending". Therefore, a major portion of this entry may or may not have actually happened.

Sunday I woke up and started to reflect upon the previous two days events. They had hit me like a whirlwind. Suddenly I had cute twins walking in and out of my apartment like they owned the place. It was like I was in an episode Friends. I was Chandler and Ruthie was Monica, and Rachel was... well... Monica. I hadn't made friends this fast with someone since third grade with James, but that may be attributed to the fact that he had a Nintendo, and my family was too poor to afford one. I felt like my life was a giant snow globe, and I had a girl on each side shaking the crap out of me, and I was thrilled.

"But how did this happen?" I wondered t…

Why Jesse now closes the door when using the restroom: Saturday(Rising Action)

Note to the reader: This is part two of a three part story. I'd recommend reading the one below first if you haven't already. Like most 3 part stories, this one is kind of long and boring(Empire Strikes Back excluded). I promise to bring the punny a little more in part 3.On Saturday I woke up at around 7:50. I had assumed, incorrectly, that Geremy would call me when they were leaving to hike. Geremy had assumed, also incorrectly, that at a few months shy of 30 I was a big enough boy to set my alarm properly. I'm actually normally very punctual, but in this case I had been out until 3 or 4, and then spent the next two hours lying in my bed trying to sleep with a cheesy grin on my face giggling like a school girl(Read: Stressing over every detail of the previous night). I called Geremy and he told me they were almost to the mountain. At this point I panicked just a small bit. I was the contact for the twins, Allen, and indirectly a guy who lives in my building, and I was mor…

Why Jesse now closes the door when using the restroom: Friday(Exposition)

Note to the reader: I had every intention of doing 2 or 3 posts for "reader participation week". So far that's been a bust, and I had such a crazy weekend that I'd like to commit as much as possible to the blog, so we'll either delay, or just skip the other posts. Since I'm constantly told that my entries are "too long" this weekend will be broken in to 3 posts to cover the 3 days.

On Thursday evening I ran in to my neighbor Maria and she told me she was having a little get together at her house late Friday night. I was planning on hiking with the people's early Saturday, so I had planned on stopping by, but not hanging out for long. Jesse from 2 years ago would have just been anti-social and not gone since I wouldn't know anyone who would be there, but today's Jesse has a commitment to being socialer.

On Friday I walked by one of my neighbor twins downstairs. I kept telling myself that if I bumped in to them I should invite them hiking w…

Cute Tax Girl from Floor 7

One morning last week, while walking from my car to the elevator at the office, I apparently paused to let a car go in front of me. I didn't commit this event to memory because there was nothing extraordinary about it at the time. The girl who then parked and got out of this car was a good 30 feet behind me, but I held the elevator for her because the parking garage elevators are quite slow.

"Wow, you let me go in front of you and held the elevator for me. That's really nice", she said as she got in the elevator.
"Well, I'm in no rush to get to work anyhow" came out of my mouth while "Holy crap you're a robo-babe! I love you" stayed locked safely in my head.

I kept talking to her during the elevator ride, and then as we walked in to the building. I told her where I work, and she told me where she works (7th floor doing taxes for Price Waterhouse Cooper.) We talked for a while, and it was probably the best conversation I've ever had with a…

Reader Participation: Pick My Poison

That's right, it's time for the fifth annual reader participation week here at Sesquipedalis. It's that time of year where the 2 to 3 loyal readers band together to give me a digital kick in the ass and help me create a moment in my life that will become the next story.

Do you want a funny story, a sad story, a depressing story? It's up to you the reader.

Here's how it works. First you read the story above about my new building crush Linda and then respond to this post with what you think I should do. If you've been paying attention to stories such as this one, you'll know that I'm socially retarded enough to take advice from two drunk girls. If that's the case then I'm more than willing to take advice from random people on the Internet.

"But I don't know how to leave a comment", your sad sad nontechnical brain is thinking right now. Normally I'd tell you to get the hell off of my blog, but it is reader participation week, so open…

Second base with Aunt Sharon

After hiking on Saturday I went home, rested up and then headed to Geremy's to get ready for the Halloween party. Geremy had called to inform me that he had made a few "special modifications" to his Robin costume, which was a bit of a cause for concern. I didn't pay it much attention though because I was still trying to figure out a way to avoid looking like I weighed 350 lbs. in my costume.

I arrived at G's place and went up stairs to find that he had removed the legs and arms from his costume. It actually looked pretty amusing. At this point, he was trying to figure out how to make his "Bat Bulge" look bigger. I threw my costume on and as I came out he tossed me a weird object to use for my bulge. It's hard to describe, but it was similar to a clear bean bag filled with a thick liquid. I inserted it(Outside the undies, inside the costume), and I'm somewhat ashamed to admit it, but it was pretty comfortable.

"So what is this thing anyhow?&qu…

Tales from the Top: Week 2

Last Saturday we decided to hike Squaw Peak yet again. This time we wanted to be on the mountain by 7:30 since Harold had to be at work early. Geremy also enlisted two more girls, Heidi and DesireƩ, from his veritable cornucopia of girls that I have no chance with.

I got up, got ready, and then got a call from G telling me that Harold wasn't answering her phone, and that she was Heidi's ride to the mountain, so he wasn't sure what to do. We decided that I'd go pick her up and we'd meet at the mountain which seemed convenient enough. It was a bit of a trek out to her house estate, but it was a nice day so I took the top down and enjoyed the drive. She had woken up at 6:30 too, and it didn't seem fair to leave her out of the festivities just because Harold's lazy ass couldn't get out of bed.

Let's pause for a moment here, for reasons that will soon become apparent, to describe my "type". Most of my life I've thought that having a "typ…

Pay attention when ordering your costume online

About 5 years ago I had the idea to dress up as Batman and Robin with one of my bosses for a certain event. That's a long story, and one I'm sure I'll eventually commit to blogingdom. The joke behind it was that he (6'2ish, 250 lbs) would be Robin, and I (5'5, 130 at the time) would be Batman.

The idea fell through, but I always thought it was amusing. As Halloween approached this year I tossed the idea out to Geremy and since he liked it, we decided to do it. We wanted to make sure we had the older looking costumes as the point was to be as cheesy as possible. I searched online and found the perfect costumes. Unfortunately I must have made a mistake when ordering:

Last Friday they arrived in the mail and I put the chest on:


At this point I was fairly excited. I mean deep down inside every guy wants to be Batman, and the costume was looking pretty good. But then I put on the cape and cowl with patented "Fat Ass" technology.


More actual stories from the weeken…