Thursday, November 05, 2009

Now Accepting Applications

One of my personal rules is to not blog about video games if possible. It just doesn't seem that the general population would have any clue what I'm talking about, but I think this is a special occasion. This isn't just any video game.

Grab your biggest red marker and throw a circle around next Sunday on your calendar. On November 15th, 2009, it is on. If you're someone who has bladder control issues I suggest you go grab a spare pair of chonies right now because the news I'm about to drop on you is pee-your-pants exciting.

That's right, New Super Mario Wii comes out next Sunday.

So what's the big deal you ask? "New Super Mario" is a new line of Mario games designed in the image of the original Mario game(s). You know, the one from your childhood(Assuming your childhood encompassed 1986). There's a run button, a jump button, and not much else. This is the closest you can get to reliving your past without a Delorean, a crazy doctor, and one point twenty one jiggowatts of power. In this iteration of the beloved series, creator Miyamoto is giving the game multiplayer action: Four nerds simultaneously galumphing Gombas, kicking Koopas, bouncing off Bob-ombs and hating on Hammer Bros.

For that reason I've decided to open the floor and accept applications for my Mario Team. I'm currently looking for 3 people skilled in the arts of Bowser bashing and Peach protecting to form one Mario super group(pun intended). Please see the following job posting. If you feel you are qualified for the position, please respond in the comments, or send your resume and cover letter to Sesquipedalis.

Sesquipedalis is currently seeking a highly motivated individual well versed in the workings of the Mushroom Kingdom. The ideal candidate will be familiar with traversing pipes and navigating treacherous castles. Must enjoy mushrooms and have an ability to rise to the occasion. Calloused thumbs, strong jumping skills, knowledge of botany, and a desire to play with fire all considered a plus.

Please indicate the following in your submission:
1) What is your favorite Mario game?
2) How many Mario games have you personally played through?
3) Daisy or Peach?
4) If you were a Yoshi, what color would you be, and why?
5) What's your favorite Mario power up, and why?

Feel free to add any personal information that the recruiter should know to assist in ensuring the right candidate gets the job.