Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from May, 2007

Nerd Word(s): Swing the bat

Swing the bat
- verb

1. To help a friend out, especially in relations with members of the opposite sex.

[ Origin: Unknown ]

- synonyms
1. H.B.O.(Help a Brotha Out)
2. Go to bat

- usage
1. "You gonna swing the bat for me with that new girl at your office?"
2. "Come on Kendall, I think your sister and I would hit it off well. Go to bat for me."
3. "Sean really swung the bat for me by calling in a favor. His buddy got me 2 grand off my new car"

Miranda's 21st

Part 1 - Miranda Swings the Bat

Miranda's 21st birthday was divided in to two separate, but equally intoxicated events. The first was to be a gathering of friends and family at "Fox & Hound", a local bar. At that point in time my bar experience included a trip or two out with Stacey where I probably embarrassed her by clutching to her arm like a child to his mother's apron strings, and a few Nick at Night reruns of Cheers. If it has yet to be made apparent, I'm a bit uneasy in social situations, and in a social place like a bar I'm worse.

I arrived at the bar after most of the people had shown up. I did a quick headcount. Norm, Cliff, and Sammy were nowhere to be found, and it was unlikely that Miranda had invited my ex-girlfriend, so all of my bar experience was for not.

At this point in time, I also didn't know any of my sister's friends(Funny how my knowledge of bars and my sister's friends grew in parallel). I pulled up a bar stool and made conversation with my family and …

NerdMory Word(s): Heart

Heart
- verb

1. To really like. Especially when intoxicated. Really.

[ Origin: Around the time of my sister's 21st birthday she decided she "hearted" everything ]

- synonyms
1. (In text message) <3

- usage
1. Drunk Girl #1: "I thought you were mad at me when you didn't call last night."
Drunk Girl #2: "No girl, I heart you"

2. "I totally heart that shirt"

Stacey Turns 27

Jesse Meets a P.A.P.

Intro

Yeah yeah yeah, I know I'm falling behind, and unfortunately this isn't the normal story that you've come to know and lovetolerate. 98.3% of you will dismiss this one as whiny and emo, and the other 1.7%(Read: My mom) are now calling Miranda because you're "worried about Jesse". Don't worry, after I finish this story I'll try to get back to our regularly scheduled programming.

I've had 3 computers break in the past week(2 at work, 1 at home), and work has been killing me. Hopefully that's all behind me now and I can actually get back to the blog. Sorry for the delays. With any luck, I'll have something amusing to write about soon. This is an entry I've been not writing for a while. I've wanted to write it, but every time I sat down to do so it just didn't come out.

I thought I'd try my hand at writing something more serious. Unfortunately I just don't think that's me. It didn't come out well, but I don't think…

Stacey Turns 27

Jesse Meets a P.A.P.

Part 1

"Turn around, you went the wrong way" I said as she picked up the phone. I didn't even wait for the customary "Hello".

"I wasn't sure where I was supposed to turn" she replied with a laugh.

I knew she would take the wrong turn, which was why I was downstairs waiting for her. It'd been almost a year since I'd seen Stacey, but some things don't really change. I still knew her better than I knew myself in some ways, and I'm sure the reverse would hold true.

For some inexplicable reason I'd offered to take her out for her birthday. In fact, I'd gone a step further and gotten two tickets to Ballet Arizona's production which included a piece from George Balanchine, her favorite choreographer. It was the birthday that Jesse from five years ago wouldn't have been thoughtful enough to make. It was the birthday that Jesse from now would like to kick him square in the ass for not thinking of.

I hopped in to the passenger seat as …

Stacey Turns 27

Jesse Meets a P.A.P.

Part 2

As this is a 2 part story, you should probably read part 1 and the intro(See below) first. Otherwise you'll be all confused and it won't make sense. Not that it's going to make sense anyhow, but you stand a better chance if you read those parts first.

The weekend that I was planning on taking Stacey to the Ballet, Ruth and Rachel's friend Bridget was in town from New York. I didn't really stress that fact because:

A) I had bigger things on my mind

B) My twin time had fallen to an all time low. They had both become busy with work, boyfriends, and family things. At the very least, they had become too busy to make me be social, which is a task unto its own.

The Saturday evening before the ballet I found myself with a slight bit of insomnia. I tossed and turned for a long while before finally falling asleep. Just as I did, "RING RING RING" the doorbell violently brought me back to a place I had spent the past few hours trying to leave.

Rachel. It had to be Rachel.…

NBA Action: It's FANtastic

Anyone who knows me, reads this blog, or has seen me walking down the street knows my feelings on the Phoenix Suns and Steve Nash in particular. My crush on him is rivaled only by my crush on the twins, and it took two of them to even come close to my feelings for the small Canadian genius.

With that in mind, I was obviously a little upset yesterday when the league decided to suspend Stoudemire and Diaw after they got up off the bench because Robert Horry took a cheap shot at Nash. I'm not going to retell the story as it's all over the news, but basically San Antonio played dirty, and they got a boost because of it.

Everyone who's followed this story has commented that we should take out one of their guys in a dirty play. Normally I'd say, "Turn the other cheek", but in this case it seems like the league is condoning that kind of action.

On a totally unrelated, and apparently obscure note, azcentral is reporting the following story:

The Phoenix Suns announced tod…

Nerd Word(s): 60%

60%
- Verb, State of Completion

1. The exact point of any project that interest in said project is lost.

[ Origin: The word comes from Sean's tendency to lose interest in any project just after the half way point, although the same holds true even more so for me ]

- usage
1. "Yeah, I've been meaning to get back on that project"
"Gonna 60% that one too eh?"

2. "Man, you really 60%'d that 'car restoration' that you were so hyped about"

- examples
I have over the years done the following: Written half a screen play that was shelved when the main idea was used in another movie that was released.Built a working hovercraft in my parent's garage that actually floated and would support a person all working on a gas powered blower. Unfortunately I never made the propulsion systemHad a band that practiced a total of 3 timesWritten a video game from scratch that had a beginning, but no ending

Dunkquest

"Man, I used to have mad hops for a short white boy" I told Sean the other day at work while discussing the playoffs and basketball in general.

"Could you ever dunk?" I ask. Sean is about 6'2, and used to be that athletic skinny skateboarding kid(emphasis on the used to be). The only real thing he's got going against him is that he's Canadian, and everyone knows Canadians can't dunk.

"I never really tried" he responds, "I gave up on basketball after eighth grade". Sean went to school with Richard Jefferson, who now starts at forward for the New Jersey Nets, and informs me that upon showing up to try out for the team and seeing RJ dunking he gave up on hoops.

"I always thought I'd dunk some day" I tell him. "I think I was about 8 to 10 inches shy even at my best though, and then I stopped growing"

We soon both, half jokingly, decided that our goal for the summer should be to train to dunk the ball. Tuesday I, s…

Rose finally "makes" the blog

I have, on occasion, asked a few different people to ghostwrite an entry on my blog. It usually comes about from someone saying, "You should write about the time...", to which I normally respond, "You write it and I'll post it". Well, apparently tired of the lack of mentions in my blog, Rose got it together and wrote the following.It should be noted that I had planned on writing this story at some point in time, but Rose did a better job than I would have anyhow.

I had just broken up with Stacey (you may remember her from such posts as Vegas: 2003) after a 6 year relationship. I was in a somewhat delicate state (to put it mildly) and I was seeking comfort in the warm, welcoming arms of one of my closest, nicest, most beautiful, special, caring friends, Rose. You probably won’t remember her from too many posts because we don’t have the drama. Anyway, I took Rose to one of my favorite places, Pei Wei for dinner. We placed our order and began looking around for a t…