Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Miranda's 21st

Part 1 - Miranda Swings the Bat

Miranda's 21st birthday was divided in to two separate, but equally intoxicated events. The first was to be a gathering of friends and family at "Fox & Hound", a local bar. At that point in time my bar experience included a trip or two out with Stacey where I probably embarrassed her by clutching to her arm like a child to his mother's apron strings, and a few Nick at Night reruns of Cheers. If it has yet to be made apparent, I'm a bit uneasy in social situations, and in a social place like a bar I'm worse.

I arrived at the bar after most of the people had shown up. I did a quick headcount. Norm, Cliff, and Sammy were nowhere to be found, and it was unlikely that Miranda had invited my ex-girlfriend, so all of my bar experience was for not.

At this point in time, I also didn't know any of my sister's friends(Funny how my knowledge of bars and my sister's friends grew in parallel). I pulled up a bar stool and made conversation with my family and a few of the other people, but my family quickly left.

"So are any of your friends cute, single, and in to short nerds?" I asked my sister who was already quite inebriated.

"No, not that I can think of. There's Pat.... Shelley!" her face lit up as she paused to yell and wave to her friend who had entered the bar behind me. "Shelley" she said turning back to me as if in answer to my question.

I turned to see Shelley who was exceptionally cute, exceptionally tall, exceptionally out of my league, and to top it all off bore a striking resemblance to Stacey. I twisted back around ready to ask Mory what the she was thinking and then remember, Oh yeah, you're drunk.

"Come here Shelley, sit by me. This is my brother. Play him in checkers." Miranda said while busily arranging the checker board built in to the bar, "He's smart, and rich!"

I shook my head to dismiss her. I appreciated the talk up, but it would have been nicer had it been true. I nervously made small talk with Shelley while simultaneously getting crushed in checkers. Half way through the game my sister turned back around from the conversation she had been having to "help" yet again. "TELL MY BROTHER HE'S HOT" she yelled(Thinking she was whispering) in to Shelley's ear.

"You're hot" Shelley told me.
"I'm sorry" I responded, again shaking my head.

As the evening wound down people began to leave. Eventually there were only a few people left and everyone save Mory, Shelley and myself had gone to play darts. A minute or two after the split my sister's drunken eyes saw yet another opportunity and soon announced, "Oh, I'm going to go over there. I have to... um... tell... ah... um... Barbara something"

"Wow, that was awkward. I at least appreciate her trying" I said to relieve the weirdness.

We talked for a moment before Miranda returned.

"I forgot my beer" she said. She reached for the full glass that was sitting in front of me, but missed slightly and the glass tumbled over spilling beer down the front of my shirt and squarely in to my lap.

"Alright, thanks for the lovely evening. Happy Birthday Mory. It was nice meeting you Shelley"

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