The results are in!

You'll have to forgive me a bit for dragging my feet on determining a winner to the free lunch contest. The past few weeks have been a bit hectic, and just as I went to finish this off, my laptop died. For me that's a kick in the junk the size of which you wouldn't believe.

Just like last year, we'll take a look at the guesses before we get to the answer:

$41.38 - Exzavier
$65.87 - Anna
$68.43 - Servant
$83.17 - Dave
$87.53 - Ghedoicy
$95.96 - TR
$104.00 - Matt
$110.50 - Liang
$111.38 - Motz
$111.69 - Nikki
$122.12 - Miranda
$136.00 - Jo
$141.67 - Adam
$152.37 - Jesse
$158.00 - Megan
$169.69 - Beadle
$191.43 - Rose
$202.00 - Andrew
$212.00 - Stacy

And the grand total was....
$140.13

Just like I predicted, a cute girl who is in to short nerds won it all. Everyone congratulate Adam on his win. I'll get with you later on how we manage to get you a free lunch from 5600 miles away(That's 9100 Kilometers for you Adam).

Nerd Games: The Free LunchYear Two

Me going on vacation is about as frequent as a Halley's Comet visit, but I'm going to be out in Cali for almost a week coming up. With that in mind I figured it was time to toss up the Free Lunch contest for this year. I don't think change accumulated as fast this year as it normally does, but then the contest ran a little long. That means this year it's anyone's game. Good luck, and see you in a week or two!

Just like last year I'm inviting everyone to guess how much money is in my change jar. The closest to the exact dollar amount gets a free lunch from/with me.

Feel free to comment, email, IM, or even tweet your guess to me. A winner will be picked in roughly 10 days.

Rules:
1. The location of the dinner must be mutually decided upon, and the value per meal not to exceed 25 dollars. If the winner lives out of state, then some alternative prize will be awarded.
2. I reserve the right to kick anyone out of the competition for any reason.
3. Results may be modified to ensure the winner is a cute girl who is single and in to short nerds.
4. Non-US currency in the jar will not count towards the total.

This year, for comparison's sake, we'll use a standard sized Coke can and a half built Lego Minstorms NXT Robot, since everyone should know the exact size of that. Feel free to click on the images for a bigger picture.  

I'll give you a hint. Guess more than twenty bucks.

Nerd Games: The Free Flowers (Year 2)

Given that it's now almost February, the chances of me having a Valentine reside statistically in the "Not Probable" range.  I believe I've given or sent flowers for at least 7 or 8 years running now, and it seems a shame to let the streak end.

Given that, and my motto that every girl deserves flowers on Valentine's, I've decided to open up the free flowers competition again.  The rules are the same as last year.  

1. Nominate someone to get flowers. Write a reason/explanation, or don't.  I don't care. A good reason helps your chances though.

2. I'll pick a winner and pay for and send flowers. I'll also write a very crappy poem which you can help with if you'd like.

3. Contest ends on the 9th.

*I reserve the right to half ass it like I did last year if I get a slight case of death again.

Here are some sample entries that I just made up to get you started:

I think you should send flowers to my wife, because her husband is a jerk.

A dozen roses to Ruthie that read:
Dear Ruthie,
Please move back to 11-L so that Jesse has something to write about.
Love, Sesquipedalis Readers

Send flowers to Leyda with a card that reads, "Happy Valentine's - James Franco"

Nerd Games: Rose Wedding Bingo

Rose, one of my best friends in the whole world gets married next Sunday. We had a pact that if neither of us were married by the time she hit 30 we'd just marry each other. Rose turns 29 in January, so I'll let you draw your own conclusions about her upcoming marriage. I'm just saying that fear is a powerful motivator.

With Rose's wedding I've decided to start a new tradition. I've invented a game that I call "Rose Wedding Bingo". The rules are simple.

Rose Wedding Bingo
1. Think of as many humorous things that could happen as possible and write a list.

2. Randomly pick 24 things from the list and lay them out on a 5x5 grid. The middle square is the "Free Square"

3. As the things happen at the wedding, cross them off from your bingo card. The first person to form a line wins.

Sample List(The * indicates ones that I picked for my card):
Jesse hits on a bridesmaid*

Rose calls Zach "Jesse"*

Rose calls Jesse "Zach"*

Jen knocks a flower girl out while the bouquet is being tossed*

Jesse knocks the ring bearer out while trying to catch the garter *

Heidi makes an inappropriate(Albeit hilarious) joke in front of Mr. Halterman*

Rose says Jesse's name during the ceremony

At least two members of Zach's family get drunk and say something inappropriate

Rose throws a fit and leaves for 20 minutes*

Jesse tries to bring her back by telling her her hair looks pretty.*

Rose yells, "FINE" at least twice

Rose yells, "WHATEVER" at least twice

Rose says, "I don't even care anymore"*

Rose tells Jesse to "SHUT UP"*

Zach gets drunk and tells everyone how much he loves them*

Rose gets drunk and tells everyone how much she hates them*

Rose refuses to do the Chicken Dance

Rose cries at the end because she doesn't want everyone to leave.

Rose reminds everyone that it's her day.*

Andy sings a song for the "Love Birds" *

Andy (unintentionally) lands the bridesmaid that Jesse hit on*

Dawn(Rose's mom) says, "RRRROOOOOOOOOOOSSSSEEEE"*

Dawn sings a song for Rose(How do you solve a problem like Rose)*

A member of the bridal party throws up.

Rose gets fed up with her hair before the wedding and does something rash.

Rose wears teal makeup.*

Rose misses the something old, something new or something borrowed, but way over does it on the something blue.*

Sara asks for a new roommate after the first night.*

Jesse wears a tuxedo shirt at some point during the weekend.

Jeff says something so dry it's arid.*

Groomsman shows up drunk or hungover

Someone misplaces the rings

Flower Girl cries

Ring Bearer throws a tantrum.

Jesse quotes wedding crashers

Rose says, "GROSS"

Rose shoves cake in Zach's face as he's saying something nice like, "I could never do something like that to you"

Rose mentions mouth herpes*

Zach accidentally breaks something insignificant and Rose gets very upset.*

Rose considers eloping the night before the wedding.*

Sample Card(Click for full size):


If you'll be attending the wedding feel free to make your own card and/or comment on things to add to my list. I'll update the post if I get any new good ones. If you won't be attending the wedding feel free to make a card up for a wedding that you will be attending in the near future.

Nerd Games: The Free Flowers

I debated posting this, but after Geremy threw a fit like a 7 year old who's mom wouldn't buy him the green Power Ranger, I decided to give him another chance at winning a prize.

Anyone who's read my blog for a while will recall that two years ago I sent a lesbian flowers for Valentine's day with the following poem:

Some women like diamonds
Some women like pearls
I wish you liked boys
Instead of girls

I thought it was pretty funny at the time. Everyone had told me her girlfriend was mean and wouldn't give her flowers, and I thought, "Every girl deserves flowers on Valentine's day right?". You can read the full story by starting at the bottom here and working your way up.

Last year I told Rachel, "I should send someone else flowers for Valentine's day this year."
"Leyda!" she replied without hesitation. Apparently Rachel thought it was a good idea that I send her friend that I barely knew a dozen roses, and that was reason enough for me.(You may remember Leyda from this post).

So, with V-day quickly approaching I've got a bill from proflowers.com waiting for a destination and I'm drawing a blank. The rules for this contest are simple:

1. Nominate someone to get flowers. Write a reason/explanation, or don't, I don't care. A good reason helps your chances though.

2. I'll pick a winner and pay for and send flowers. I'll also write a very crappy poem which you can help with if you'd like.

3. Contest ends on the 11th.

As before, feel free to email, comment, ask questions, etc. As an added bonus, if it's a female who's single and in to short nerds I'll buy you a free lunch for the tip.

I promise no more lame contests after this.

The Free Lunch - The results are in!

Right after work today I drove my bucket of change down to the Fry's to get the results of last week's contest. But before we get to the results let's take a look back at everyone's guesses.

Geremy 1.00
Anne 12.00
Jim 15.00
Andrew 23.67
Misti 28.00
Needs 33.00
Mike 34.21
Mom 34.56
Kendall 37.54
Ben 42.37
Josh 43.00
Jason 50.00
Beadle 50.69
Jenn 52.85
Mikele 58.63
Patty 59.25
Adam 66.83
Anna 67.57
Liang 71.13
Chase 75.00
Rose 76.11
Holly 77.77
Troy 85.07
Monique 88.00
J.R. 90.00
Pollack 100.00
Rachel 100.00
Mandi 105.00
Erik 120.00
Nikki 139.69
Scot 150.00
Jesse 157.42
Tom 183.10
Rahul 240.00
Bruce 300.00

I've highlighted in red the people who only saw the coin jar via pictures, and the people in black are the ones who saw it in real life. It's somewhat interesting that people who saw it through photos tended to guess significantly lower.

There were 35 total entries(If I counted correctly). I have to say that I'm overwhelmed by the number of responses that I've gotten. I've asked for ideas with regards to women, help getting a date, and thoughts for presents before. At the most I've gotten 1 or 2 responses, usually making fun of me, but as soon as there is free food on the table(har har) everyone figures out where the reply button is.

I was questioned on rule #3 specifically once or twice. In case you've forgotten rule #3, it was the following:

Results may be modified to ensure the winner is a cute girl who is
single and in to short nerds.

For anyone who knows me, it should have been obvious that this was a joke. I'd pretty much buy any cute girl who was single and in to short nerds a free lunch any day of the week. Heck, she doesn't even have to be all that cute, or all that in to short nerds. I'm pretty firm on the single part though.

Okay, enough Howey Mandeling this, it's time for the results...

According to the coinstar there was a grand total of.... $162.57 in the jar(Before the coinstar deduction). Which looking back over the results(since I can't win) means Scot won the free lunch. Scot's my boss and the former drummer of my non-existent band. He's also notoriously thrifty with concerns to lunches and free stuff, so despite the fact that he's a manager at a software company, this win for him roughly equates to me being invited to have a sleep over with Shigeru Miyamoto for a night of Smash Bros., so I gotta be happy for him.

Nerd Games: The Free Lunch

Generally, sometime around the New Year, I take my coin jar and cash it's contents in for the much more convenient paper form. Three years ago I started offering a free lunch to the person who came closest to guessing the value of the coins in the jar. I would also place my guess.

Unfortunately(for everyone else) I've won three years in a row. This leads to me having a celebratory lunch by myself, which isn't as exciting as it could be. This year I've decided to extent the contest to.... well, anyone who wants to wager a guess. If you don't live in Phoenix and/or I don't know you, then we'd have to work something out, but we'll burn that bridge when we come to it.

The winner will be decided sometime next weekend, so feel free to comment a guess, email a guess, call, web cam, carrier pigeon, or however you choose to contact me.

Rules:
1. The location of the dinner must be mutually decided upon, and the value per meal not to exceed 25 dollars.
2. I reserve the right to kick anyone out of the competition for any reason.
3. Results may be modified to ensure the winner is a cute girl who is single and in to short nerds.

Edit: After two guesses now in the 20 dollar range I feel it's impotant to state that the jar is apparently larger than the photos give it credit for. Therefore I took 2 more pictures of it comparing it to a normal sized coke can. It still looks small for some reason though :/