Anyone who's read my blog for a while will recall that two years ago I sent a lesbian flowers for Valentine's day with the following poem:
Some women like diamonds
Some women like pearls
I wish you liked boys
Instead of girls
I thought it was pretty funny at the time. Everyone had told me her girlfriend was mean and wouldn't give her flowers, and I thought, "Every girl deserves flowers on Valentine's day right?". You can read the full story by starting at the bottom here and working your way up.
Last year I told Rachel, "I should send someone else flowers for Valentine's day this year."
"Leyda!" she replied without hesitation. Apparently Rachel thought it was a good idea that I send her friend that I barely knew a dozen roses, and that was reason enough for me.(You may remember Leyda from this post).
So, with V-day quickly approaching I've got a bill from proflowers.com waiting for a destination and I'm drawing a blank. The rules for this contest are simple:
1. Nominate someone to get flowers. Write a reason/explanation, or don't, I don't care. A good reason helps your chances though.
2. I'll pick a winner and pay for and send flowers. I'll also write a very crappy poem which you can help with if you'd like.
3. Contest ends on the 11th.
As before, feel free to email, comment, ask questions, etc. As an added bonus, if it's a female who's single and in to short nerds I'll buy you a free lunch for the tip.
I promise no more lame contests after this.
I nominate myself to receive flowers for the following reasons:
ReplyDelete1. You haven't ever bought me flowers unless you count the time that you helped Sara deliver flowers to Stacey and I as a secret admirer thing and I got all pissed off...and I don't.
2. This is the last Valentine's Day that I will be eligible to receive flowers from someone other than a relative or Zach and it seems cruel not to take advantage of that.
3. It's likely that since we are super poor I will not be receiving anything for Valentine's Day.
4. While a Frostie is cheaper than flowers, it's hard to get one of those sent via UPS.
5. Only about 6 more months and then you'll have to hold your peace forever.
6. I'm the first one to respond to this which shows how much I read and check your blog and how much I love you.
7. I am pretty short and I am into nerds...and 2 out of 3 ain't bad.
8. You didn't take me to prom and I had to go alone.
9. One word: Stacey.
10. I would really appreciate it and I would accept flowers that aren't roses, so you could go cheap if you wanted.
send flowers to my friend, Anastacia.
ReplyDeleteShe has absolutely no luck with boys. her stats are as follows:
Social Retard, single, has bronchitis, dsl (not the internet connection), likes all forms of music from garbage to Alicia keys,
she puts hot sauce on everything, she hates valentines (probably cause she has never received anything) her hobbies include singing and making music, dancing, working on old tandys, looking at dualcore processor schematics, U.S. foreign policy specifically between 1930-1960, Swimming.
I'm the second one to respond to this which shows my maturity and restraint from just going full on into a dick shaker without warming it up.
Rose may have went to prom alone..but bad things happen to bad people. greedy people, who want the flowers for themselves.
Besides, the terrible joke..flowers for a girl named ROSE? Give me a break.
I nominate my friend Monique for the following reasons:
ReplyDelete1. BIG BOOBS....enough said!
i nominate your boss you a$$ kissing tease! and i DID NOT throw a fit, i simply pointed out the CONVENIENCE of taking your boss out too lunch! so... how long did you have to spend removing coins from the jar to ensure you nailed your boss' guess?
ReplyDeletein all seriousnessmentishingation though, i say you send flowers to an intentionally botched date. by this i mean, meet a girl (yes, make yourself do it!) get her number and intentionally smuther her until she runs in fear! all of this has to be built up over the course of the next week culminating in you sending her flowers professing your love of a three day relationship! so you've gotta hurry!
it's just whether or not you, my friend, have the testicles (thats eggs in spanish!) to do it!
and that's one "o" in "too lunch" i know.
ReplyDeleteprof reading sucks!
Well, this Rose says the other Rose is meant to have the rose.
ReplyDeleteEveryone's made an excelent point/case so far. I like your plan Geremy, but I'm not sure where this girl I'm supposed to meet is going to be. Sounds a little far fetched.
ReplyDeletewe passed plenty on the freakin' mountain!!!! it's not my fault "Captain Jesse Non-Action" came to the rescue AGIAN!
ReplyDeleteSo, um...who won? I think I got two votes on here, so I'd say me. I'm just wondering because Valentine's Day is Thursday.
ReplyDeleteIn list form just for you:
ReplyDeleteA) It wasn't by vote. It was a decision made solely by me.
B) If it was by vote, then Anastacia technically had you beat.
C) There were 2 other entries not shown here.
D) Monique has big boobs
I'm not announcing the winner. Maybe after Valentine's day. Until then, check your mailbox for flowers!
I forgot to mention. I've been on my death bed all weekend with a cold that won't go away, so I sort of half-assed it when it came to the flowers. There's no cute poem to go along with them, but the flowers were sent.
ReplyDeletei'm sure you're boss will love them.
ReplyDeleteI'm not reading this blog any more.
ReplyDeleteYes you are.
ReplyDeleteDAMN, IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTA.
ReplyDeleteaka, i won.