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Showing posts from February, 2009

The Liang Prank

Back in October, my coworker Liang was sent to Romania for a one month assignment. For him it was an opportunity to check out Europe and try out a new work place. For Sean it was the opportunity to pull the prank of a lifetime. We quickly assembled a team of super nerds from around the office and began plotting.

The "Plan" as viewed on Liang's new Newton.
Liang is the very proud owner of a three monitor set up. As I noted in The Developer Trap, monitors are at a premium around the office, and Liang loves to point out that he has three. We began by taking all of the technology out of his office and filling it with old and antiquated equipment. Whenever possible, something made by Apple was used since Liang has a bigger man-crush on Steve Jobs than I do on Steve Nash.


Liang also owns a large stuffed rabbit that sits in his office. We once considered an intervention, or at least investigation, but eventually decided that it's better to just not ask questions.


For my pa…

Re-Shaq-ulous

You'll have to excuse the slightly self serving nature of this post. I'd like to have something better put together, but today has been go-go-go nonstop, and yet I feel the need to say something.

I've re-written this post about three times now, but how do you follow something like Shaq? When I sent the story to Basketbawful and True Hoop this morning, I thought maybe I'd get a few extra hits, and maybe someone would enjoy the story. Turns out I did get a few more than my typical 30-70 hits:



I wanted to take a minute to thank everyone for the emails, nice comments, and "tweets". I hope to spend some time this weekend responding to everyone I can, but no promises. Despite my tongue-in-cheek bitching, I figure maybe I'll give this thing a shot. Feel free to follow me and tell me I'm a dork:
http://twitter.com/jessebearden

And please tell Sean he has a big head:
http://twitter.com/cannuk

My email is on the right(As is my twitter now), so feel free to say h…

Finally, A Use for Twitter

Sean informed me a few days ago that he had been following "The Real Shaq" on twitter. 

"You realize that 'The Real Shaq' is probably a 5'4 White, 14 year old emo kid who's getting his jolly's from the attention, right?" I asked him.

"I don't know. I think it's really him"

Today Sean and I were discussing rumored trade situations over IM, and the possibility of Shaq being traded to Cleveland.

"Well, I just got a twitter from The Real Shaq, and he's at 5 & Diner right now," Sean informed me.

"Let's go then" I said, assuming that I'd finally put this "Real Shaq" crap to rest.

Twenty minutes later we were pulling up to the restaurant and looking for the big black truck that he's rumored to drive around town. "Maybe that's it" Sean said, pointing at an older, but nice Van and laughing. As we pulled up I saw the Superman symbol on the grill.

Maybe that is it?

We went in, and…

Five Lines or Less

You're currently reading this post for one of a few reasons. Please read the appropriate section, and only the appropriate section, for a personalized message just for you!

You're a loyal supporter of the blog, and read everything I post-
Mom,

How's your work day going? I'm considering going out of town this weekend, but if I don't, wanna hang out and maybe catch a movie?

Jesse

You received something in the mail with this web address-
Dear Sir/Madam,

I'm sorry. You were probably hoping it was some romantic gesture from that boy/girl you've been crushing on for the past few weeks, and it turns out to be a gift from a short nerd living in Phoenix. I would have fully explained on the card, but they only give you 5 lines to use on those things. How ridiculous is that? Asking me to write something that short is like asking Tim Burton to direct something bright, shiney and fluffy.  It's just not possible.

The reason you received something in the mail is most li…

Nerd Her Word(s): Boyfriend Tax

Note from the editor: My friend Nikki posted this as a response to my entry about Girlfriend Tax.  It's pretty solid, so I'm cleaning it up and posting it.  
If I'm reading it correctly she's saying the average woman will oftentimes willingly trade sex for money.  I believe there's a word for that, but I don't recall at the moment.
Boyfriend Tax
- noun

1. The physical activities that a woman feels obligated to perform as repayment of girlfriend tax.

[ Origin: Nikki, apparently ]

- usage
1. “OMG…you will not believe how tired and sore I am this morning”
“Why? Did you stay up late again last night?”
“Yes, Tommy still thinks that I owe him BF tax to pay him back from the trip to New York last month”
“Really? I thought he did that to be spontaneous and romantic?”
“Please, you should know that he only spent the GF tax just to get some BF tax”

2. “I’ve had to go to the chiropractor 6 times in the last month because of the BF tax I’ve been putting out”

- see also Girlfriend Tax

Nerd Word(s): Girlfriend Tax

Girlfriend Tax
- noun

1. The extra amount of money spent just by having a girlfriend.

[ Origin: I have no idea.  I'm thinking Marloue though ]

- usage
1. "How come Liang didn't want to come to lunch with us?"
"He's been trying to cut down on costs."
"Oh, that's right.  He's got that trip to NY, and then that trip to Miami next month.""Yeah.  Girlfriend tax is hitting him hard."
2. "You know I'd kick in on the keg bro, but February is the worst month for GF tax and I'm tapped"

A Very Bailey Birthday

Okay, this entry got a little out of hand length wise.  I cut a bunch out, but I'm leaving a decent amount in.  I can't tell you how thrilled I was to find someone who actually laughed at a joke I made.  I probably should have proposed.
The thing about my family is that we all like joking around and being funny.  And we're really funny.  To each other.  On our own, we're all a little bit obnoxious, but when we hang out together we Voltron our obnoxiousness into something else entirely. In private I'm usually the most vocal, but in public I tend to take the back seat and make sure it doesn't get too out of hand. I am, after all, the responsible one.
The other night my siblings, their respective others, Stacy(Without an e) and I went out for my birthday. I chose P.F. Chang's because I love the Mu Shu Chicken. I don't speak Chinese, but I feel quite confident in my assertion that Mu Shu is Chinese for "Burrito". The fun part is that they come …

25 things

In my post Super Bowl depression I decided to do something I've never done before. I filled out an Internet survey/meme. I'm usually very much against these kinds of things, but as many people on Facebook that I know did it, and I found them interesting, I decided to go ahead and participate.

In my general fashion, I wrote more than most do, but I tried to add things that not many people know about me. There's at least one item that I don't think anyone knows, so hopefully someone enjoys this. Maybe some of these will turn in to real blog entries some time, but probably not.

1. I spent ages 3-7 in Germany. While I forgot the language over the years, my mother claims that I spoke German in my sleep for many years after the fact.

2. One summer in my youth, faced with no new Nintendo games, or money to purchase them, my best friend and I started making video game challenges to each other. In one of these challenges, I successfully beat Super Mario using only my big …