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Showing posts from July, 2006

I paid too much for my 700 square foot condo, but its got a view

About 3 weeks or so ago I was unloading groceries from my car to my new condo. I parked out front since that's the closest to the elevators. I live on the 11th floor, so making multiple trips is a bit of a pain. There was someone in the car next to me unloading stuff too, but I was tired and not very attentive.

I got to the elevator with groceries in hand. One of the two elevators was out, and being that they're quite slow I held it for the girl who had been parked next to me who was now a bit behind me carrying a box.

She got in and thanked me for holding the door. She introduced herself and I did the same. Her name was Iliana. Iliana tells me that the box she is carrying is a lot heavier than it looks, so I offer to help her carry it up, but she tells me, "No, I've got a plan. I'm going to push it out of the elevator and kick it down the hall". I wasn't sure if this meant, "No, I don't want to trouble you" or "No, stay away stalker"…

Jesse B vs. Ana

About 2 years ago, somewhat down with the current goings on in my life, I decided it was time to head back to school. I was a little older, a little wiser, and had a lot of time on my hands.

I didn't figure I'd stick with it for long, but it was just more something to do at the time. I set a few rules for myself to make sure I didn't repeat the same mistakes as my first round of college. First I wanted to be more social. I don't think I made a single friend by way of college in my first four(ish) years, and that seems a bit odd looking back on it. I wasn't social, and I didn't talk to people. This time, I was going to be more outgoing, more friendly, even if it killed me. Second, I was going to be a better student.

So my first day, I walk into class and take my usual position towards the back of the class. Just because I'm going to be a better student doesn't mean I've gotta be the nerd up front with his hand constantly raised. So I'm sitting ther…

Where to begin

I've told my friend Ana on numerous occasions that I should write a book on how not to interact with women. When I majored in Computer Sci and took a job as a computer programmer I surrendered any hope of social normalcy when it comes to members of the opposite sex, and am therefore somewhat of an expert on the subject of how not to act.

That being said, at least I'm aware of my social issues and do my best, but more often than not I end up doing things like diverting my eyes in a downward direction to avoid eye contact with a cute girl I just met. For those of you playing the home game, the downward direction from a girl's eyes usually ends up being the chest area.

I doubt I'll ever finish that book, but I do find stories of me being horrible with women amusing, and some of these should be kept around for posterity.

I felt I should start with a trip in the way back machine for a few different reasons.
A) This is probably one of my best moments, and best stories.
B) I typed…