Now Accepting Applications

One of my personal rules is to not blog about video games if possible. It just doesn't seem that the general population would have any clue what I'm talking about, but I think this is a special occasion. This isn't just any video game.

Grab your biggest red marker and throw a circle around next Sunday on your calendar. On November 15th, 2009, it is on. If you're someone who has bladder control issues I suggest you go grab a spare pair of chonies right now because the news I'm about to drop on you is pee-your-pants exciting.

That's right, New Super Mario Wii comes out next Sunday.

So what's the big deal you ask? "New Super Mario" is a new line of Mario games designed in the image of the original Mario game(s). You know, the one from your childhood(Assuming your childhood encompassed 1986). There's a run button, a jump button, and not much else. This is the closest you can get to reliving your past without a Delorean, a crazy doctor, and one point twenty one jiggowatts of power. In this iteration of the beloved series, creator Miyamoto is giving the game multiplayer action: Four nerds simultaneously galumphing Gombas, kicking Koopas, bouncing off Bob-ombs and hating on Hammer Bros.

For that reason I've decided to open the floor and accept applications for my Mario Team. I'm currently looking for 3 people skilled in the arts of Bowser bashing and Peach protecting to form one Mario super group(pun intended). Please see the following job posting. If you feel you are qualified for the position, please respond in the comments, or send your resume and cover letter to Sesquipedalis.

Sesquipedalis is currently seeking a highly motivated individual well versed in the workings of the Mushroom Kingdom. The ideal candidate will be familiar with traversing pipes and navigating treacherous castles. Must enjoy mushrooms and have an ability to rise to the occasion. Calloused thumbs, strong jumping skills, knowledge of botany, and a desire to play with fire all considered a plus.

Please indicate the following in your submission:
1) What is your favorite Mario game?
2) How many Mario games have you personally played through?
3) Daisy or Peach?
4) If you were a Yoshi, what color would you be, and why?
5) What's your favorite Mario power up, and why?

Feel free to add any personal information that the recruiter should know to assist in ensuring the right candidate gets the job.

Spare Some Change?

I handle change about as well as a fingerless bum with a hole in his cup, but lately it seems like I haven't had much choice in the matter. There have been changes with work, personal life and my friends.

The biggest change of all though has been in my status. No, not that status. I've been a brother and a son forever, but today, for the first time, I became an uncle. Let the Stamos/Dukes of Hazard jokes begin.

My sister Anna went through 26 hours of labor, but eventually Adrian relented and came out to meet the world.

What's the appropriate amount of time to wait before I start training him to help pick up on cute girls?

Congrats to Josh and Anna.

I promise to return to blogging some day soon. It's not that I haven't been writing, it just hasn't really been Sesquipedalis type material. Maybe A can be my new inspiration.

A Step In the Right Direction

Crap, I need water.

This was supposed to be a rush trip to the grocery store, but it suddenly occurred to me that the basket I was holding in my right hand would be insufficient. I was out of bottled water.

Now now, before you start writing one of the following responses, hear me out.
1. Bottled water?!?! What about the earth? Plastic waste is responsible for blah blah blah. Al Gore said blah blah.
2. Bottled water?!?! You pay money for water, tool?

I had never paid for water until I moved in to the Landmark 3 years ago. It's a neat building, but it's also 40 years old and has very bad plumbing. If the faucet has been off for a while, then the water comes out with a rather orange tint that I learned the hard way doesn't have a matching orange flavor. I switched to a Brita filter and a few water bottles, but for guests I try to keep some bottled water stocked.

It had been a pretty crappy week in general which, in my small circle of friends, included: a break up, a break down, a sixty hour work week, a case of the swine flu, and an odd request from an old friend. Oh yeah... the company had also scheduled an all hands meeting for the day after our third quarter results were announced. It wasn't the Worst Week Ever, but were there a list, it probably would have made the top ten.

I had a few items in my basket and the karts are kept outside, so I stashed my groceries and hurried for the exit. As I came out, a woman who had just dislodged a kart from the group noticed me heading her way. Normally the sight of me moving hurriedly towards her is cause for a woman to reach for the pepper spray in her purse.

"You need one too?" She said with a surprising smile, "Here, take this one."

It was a pretty small gesture in the grand scheme of things, but in the moment it hit with an unexpected weight.

"Thank you"
"No problem"

Twenty minutes later I was on B2 of my building's parking garage. The trip from my parking spot to my apartment is a flight of stairs up to a door that unlocks with my building fob. The door leads to a long hallway that goes to the laundry mat and an elevator which requires the fob yet again. The elevator takes you to the eleventh floor. One more long hallway leads to my door. I was making the trip with two cases of water, a bunch of groceries and a backpack. Needless to say my hands were full.

I managed to get the keys out to open the first door, and down the hallway I could see an extremely cute building resident doing her laundry. The cute blond also spotted me from down the hallway and rushed out to get the elevator.

"You look like you've got your hands full" she said with a smile.

Cute and considerate? I think I'm in love.

Had I a ring on my person, it surely would have been hers. Instead I opted for a simple, "Thank You"

A Thousand Days in the MakingPart 6: The Thousandth Day

Two weeks passed without a word from Rachael. I was already planning a formal apology to the whole family and a blog entry about how I had, "Scared off Mandi's sister" It had only taken me six months too!

Day 999(July 5th) -

The IM window popped up. Rachael explained that life had gotten crazy, and she had retreated from certain social aspects.

She needed her own special alone time? She's prefect!

Rachael and I spent a few hours IMing back and forth, and then another two hours on the phone. I felt like a 15 year old talking to his first girl on the phone. It was fun. It was funny. It was exciting. An enjoyment of phone conversation wasn't something that I had felt in a very very long time.

Up until this point in our relationship, everything had been very nice and cordial, but for whatever reason, the gloves had finally come off. The girl I knew as always being the polite sweet girl from Kansas threw me a few zingers. She made a few off color jokes. I went from being interested in meeting this Internet friend to being interested in Rachael.

We agreed to get everything out of the way and just meet for lunch the next day. There would be no backing out this time.

Day 1000(July 6th) -

The phone rang at my office at ten as if on cue. It was Rachael and she began rather slowly.

"Here's the thing..."
"You have got to be kidding me" I interrupted.
"I am. I just wanted to freak you out. And, I wanted to change the location"

An hour later I was waiting outside of Pei Wei. As the moments passed I grew more and more nervous.

What if I don't recognize her?
What if she thinks I'm weird?
What if....

Rachael hopped out of her car wearing the biggest smile I'd ever seen.

"You're not that short" she said as we approached each other.

It was at this moment that I realized I had no idea what was appropriate. Was this a hug situation? Was it a hand shake situation? Was it neither.

Before I had a chance to screw it up Rachael threw her arms around me and told me that it was great to finally meet me.

We took our seats, and before I knew it two hours had passed! I hadn't even finished eating because I was so entranced by the girl sitting across from me. One more hug, and we went our separate ways.

I wasn't completely sure if she had had as good a time as I had, but for my part I couldn't wait to see her again.

Stay tuned for the exciting epilogue, "2000 days in the making!" coming to Sesquipedalis 4/1/2012!

A Thousand Days in the MakingPart 5: Rachael Returns the Favor

In April/May I was going through one of my special alone time phases. When I'm in one of these phases, the first thing to drop off the map is my ability to respond to emails. The inbox was piling up at a steady rate, and every glance at it prompted a begrudging thought of, "Wow. I really need to reply to some of these."

Day 939(May 6th, 2009) -

I was at home avoiding the world when the little mail icon popped up on my computer. It was a Facebook friend invite from Rachael, the girl I had been meaning to write back for the past 3 weeks. I accepted the invitation and opened up the chat window to apologize.

"I thought I had scared you off with my last email" she began.

Her? Scare me off? What had that email said?

I quickly switched back to my email and began reading.
Joke about me being silly.
Work talk
Blog talk
More jokes.
Invitation for coffee

Shit

I went about cleaning up my mess as well as I could by apologizing profusely and simultaneously trying not to sound like a complete tool. It probably wasn't working, but eventually we agreed that we should meet up sometime.

Unfortunately both of our schedules were busy, and we spent the next few weeks unable to agree on a date until our schedule's aligned and we decided to meet on June 2nd.

Day 965(June 1st) -

Rachael called to let me know that work had gotten extremely busy, and she just couldn't make it. We rescheduled for the following Monday(The 8th).

Day 968(June 4th) -

Rachael called again to let me know that she had book club on Monday, and needed to reschedule for Tuesday(The 9th).

I got ditched for books?

Day 973(June 9th) -

Rachael and I had spent the past week with a flurry of emails, but the day had finally come. By this time I was really excited to meet my new virtual friend. I had gotten to know her over email and blogs, and the idea of meeting her in person was a little intimidating.

As our six o'clock meet up time grew closer, I started to get nervous. Sean was the only person at work that I had told, and he was taking this opportunity to turn my seed of doubt in to a full blown issue.

"Man. What if you fart or say something stupid? You'd better not screw this up. That girl is way out of your league."
"It's not like that. It's just friendly."
"She's too good for that too."

At 4 I got an email with a huge apology explaining that Arlene, a coworker of Rachael's had fallen and been injured. We would have to reschedule again.

Rachael and I had a few more emails, but they soon faded and I stopped hearing from her. I had assumed that something had "Red Flagged" me and that she had decided to get rid of me in a polite manner.

Day 987(June 23rd) -

I sent one last email in an attempt to make sure everything was okay. I had made a joke about being an e-stalker in my last email, and felt like a total creepo.

Had I scared her away?