Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Introducing the cast of Sesquipedalis

I've gone ahead and updated this old post to add some more people that had been left out. I've found it quite interesting that many people who are prominent figures in my life don't get blogged about. I guess that no drama = no entry, and while that may seem odd, the best days usually don't make for a good story.

My blogging mentor Mandi left a comment about my naming conventions and that reminded me that I probably need to explain who everyone in my stories is. For the longest time I've had a habit of giving people nicknames, and if there's one thing I can do, it's make a nickname that sticks. So without further ado, lets talk about who we've been talking about...

Miranda - Alias: Mory, Murray
My younger sister. If you've never met Mory, just imagine me with blond hair and boobs and you get the idea. While I got the smarts in the family, she got looks and social ability. She's the "fun" one in the family.

Josh - Alias: Joshua
My older brother. Looks wise, my complete opposite. He's big, burly, strong, manly. He's the take charge kind of guy who's going to get things done.

Josh's fiancé. Also possibly in love with me, but that's a blog for another time. Note the double n.

Mom - Alias: Mother, Liz, Dizzy Lizzy
You guessed it, my mother. She'll tell you her slight craziness is due to her recent brain surgery, but don't believe it. She was always a little zany.

Dad - Alias: Big Guy, Mike
My dad's a decent guy. If you ever need to get anything done, and can't figure it out, he's got 3 different approaches to offer, and an excel spreadsheet to help you stay on schedule. He's an engineering manager though, so I can't think too highly of him.

Stacey - Alias: Pimpin, The Ace of Stace, Spanky, etc...
Note the e in her name. My ex-girlfriend, and possibly the motivation behind the blog. We knew each other for about 8 years, and dated for the last 6 of those 8. Broke up about 2 years ago when the bit... sorry, I promised my therapist I'd only write happy things...
It was actually a fairly civil break up.

Ana - Alias: Chica, The Chilean Princess, Mi Amor
Note the one n. A girl I met in school. If there was a "Miss Computer Sci" pageant, this girl would win it, and they'd close the pageant for the next 60 years because there'd be no need to continue. A girl I've chased for 2 years now, and will probably continue to chase and never catch for the rest of my life.

Angela - Alias: The Lesbian, Turbo Spaz 5000, TS5k
My mom's idea of a good set up.

Stacy - Alias: Smitchel
Note the lack of the e. Office mate of my mom's who has since become a good friend of mine and my sister's. Not many stories involving her yet, but we'll get there.

Stacy's boyfriend. We'll get to him soon too.

Geremy - Alias: Todd
A friend of my sister's who is teaching me how to treat a lady with class.

Amy - Alias: Harold
My hiking buddy.

Ruth - Alias: Ruthie, Little Ruthie, Little RuRu, E, The girl who put the Ru in RuRa
One of my two neighbors, and the leading cause of my impending mental breakdown. Individually, each is a force of nature that no sane man could possibly handle. Together, they're actually worse. To take a word from Kendall: Quite possibly the two most charming girls on the planet.

Rachel - Alias: Goob, Ray, L, The girl who put the Ra in RuRa
The crazier of the two if that's even possible. Rachel's got a potty mouth, and the attitude to match. If you're having trouble figuring out which is which, Rachel is the one that just called you a bitch.

A friend of Ruth and Rachel's who has caught my attention with her knowlege in the ways of the nerd, quick wit, and astute sense of humor.

A friend of Kendall's who I'm sure we'll get to soon

Erik - Alias: OG, OG Big E, Huge E, E Money
My best friend and rival in the "Worlds worst with women" competition. It should be noted that as of late he's been doing a better job with the ladies, which puts me in the lead.

Crap, another A name... My doorman/valet and a total pimp with the ladies. A reader of my blog who fills me in on the goings on of the building.

Rose - Alias: RoRo, Rosie, Ro
Somehow Rose has escaped starring in a story as of yet, and that's quite a surprise as I look back. Maybe it's because she packed up her crap and moved to PA with no regard for my feelings and subconsciously I want to get back at her...

Actually Rose is one of my oldest and dearest friends. We have our ups and downs, but that's mostly because we think and act just alike. She's a pain in my ass, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Adam - Alias: O, The Odgeman, AO
Despite the fact that he's the one who introduced me to both Stacey and Rose, he's still one of my best friends in the world. I say "in the world" because he recently packed his bags and ran off to Germany. You'll never meet a man with a more odd yet perfect sense of humor and timing, or a deeper knowledge of the Suns.

Sean N - Alias: Needs
A more recent work friend who shares both my ability to procrastinate, and desire to make fun of others. Also the non commissioned illustrator for both my office art, and this blog

Sean L - Alias: Liang, Lang-a-tang, Baller, Pimp, Pimpin baller pimpin baller...
The third member of the Slacker Trio at work, and unfortunately for him most often the butt of the jokes. You'll never meet a whiter man who listens to 50 cent.

Mikele - Alias: Kelly, The one and only Mikele
A long time friend and avid blog reader/writer. Possibly one of the first ever recorded pretend girlfriends, but that was a long time ago.

Sarah - Alias: Snacky, my "Married Girlfriend"
Someone I've known for well over half my life, and possibly the second girl I ever had a crush on. We'll get to her eventually I'm sure.

An old friend from High School and exceptional artist. Another person that while I haven't mentioned much, is often around.

J.R. - Alias: B, Baller, Hurley, Hurley McBaller
A friend of Sean N's who I've gotten to know. A forefather in ballerdom, and the inspiration for www.ballersusetide.com. He was also a star in the upcoming movie, "The Kingdom". You'll have to check his blog for more on that though.

I've left a lot of people out on purpose, but I wanted to cover the people that have appeared on the blog. I'll try to keep this updated as we go.


  1. Do you ever get tired of being so witty? It seems like it would be a real burden.

  2. What so being drunk on my birthday and randomly driving to vegas isn't enough for more than a one sentance partial introduction to what looks to be an overall lack of participation of my character in the blog as a whole...shenanigans I tell you!

  3. I've made the blogroll, but not your actual blog... my name doesn't have an "A" anywhere in it!

  4. Wow, my first reader backlash. Let's answer a few of these...

    Anonymous, AKA Rose:
    No. Yes it is.

    I've been saving that story for sweeps month. Don't stress, your momment in the sun is coming.

    I haven't made an ass out of myself or struck out with you since High School. Well, I take that back, I'm sure I've been an ass.
    At any rate, you haven't appeared in a story yet. When you do, you'll get added.
    Maybe my next story will be about how you broke up with my best friend and left him a shell of a man because you didn't care for the length of his socks.

    The main point was to clear up any confusion in the people in my stories. I know two Angela's, two Ana's, two Stacy's, two Mike's, and I never call my sister by her real name. Surprisingly I only know one Mikele. In fact, I often refer to you as "the one and only", so I'm not sure how there could be any confusion.

  5. Woohoo! I made the list. That's pretty funny that you think I'm a pimp with the ladies! I've obviously been telling a few tales eh? Oh, I vote you make this Thanksgiving a record and take both twins to the traditional "Thanksgiving Date." That would really impress the fam!

  6. hey! glad i FINALLY made it on your blog yesterday.

    love ya!