That's right, it's time for the fifth annual reader participation week here at Sesquipedalis. It's that time of year where the 2 to 3 loyal readers band together to give me a digital kick in the ass and help me create a moment in my life that will become the next story.
Do you want a funny story, a sad story, a depressing story? It's up to you the reader.
Here's how it works. First you read the story above about my new building crush Linda and then respond to this post with what you think I should do. If you've been paying attention to stories such as this one, you'll know that I'm socially retarded enough to take advice from two drunk girls. If that's the case then I'm more than willing to take advice from random people on the Internet.
"But I don't know how to leave a comment", your sad sad nontechnical brain is thinking right now. Normally I'd tell you to get the hell off of my blog, but it is reader participation week, so open those mouths baby birds because momma is about to feed you some knowledge.
Just click on the bottom of this post where it says, "2 comments". If you haven't figured it out, that 2 will change to however many comments there actually are. I've even enabled anonymous posting for those too lazy to sign up for an account.
It's that easy. Give me good advice, give me bad advice, make me look like an idiot, it's up to you. I'll choose one, or go it on my own, but one thing we can all be sure of... I'll probably end up making an ass out of myself. Don't forget to tell a friend! Prizes will be awarded based on random criteria picked at a later date by me.
Here's a few examples from fictitious readers that I just made up to get you started:
"Leave a note on her car confessing undying love"
"Give up, go out with somebody else"
"Buy a ring and propose"
"I don't know, build her a cake or something"
Void where prohibited by law. Not open to residents in the state of New Jersey. We here at Sesquipedalis do not recommend that you try anything listed here on your own. Jesse is a professional at making an ass out of himself, and as such these stunts should not be attempted by anyone hoping to get to first base or further with any real life girl.
One
A black Jetta pulled up outside my house and I jumped in without a moment's hesitation. Hopping in a near stranger's car didn't...
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Sean informed me a few days ago that he had been following " The Real Shaq " on twitter. "You realize that 'The Real Sha...
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For the past two and a half years, since my forceful reintroduction to being social with real people, in real life, I've put forth consi...
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I'm going to veer off topic for a moment and do the typical blog thing and rant for a minute. I went shopping for groceries today. It...
I dont see where it says 2 comments...
ReplyDeleteTake her out for a drink, but loudly order her a "Rufie-Colada". That should score some points.
ReplyDeleteTake her up to your balcony and let the view speak for itself. If you bring her by when I'm here working I can always be your "wing-man" and mention how you won the Nobel Prize and other such fictitious praises. Believe me...she'll be impressed :-)
ReplyDeleteP.S. If the view from the balcony doesn't quite do it for her you could always leave her on the balcony, come down to the ground level and act out a scene from Romeo & Juliet. Girls love Shakespeare!
ReplyDeleteDude, I see right through your crazy attempt at getting more comments! Ummm, show her your blog, that will definitly show her that you're not a stalker. I think.
ReplyDeleteI am easily amused. Then again....
ReplyDeletewhat's new? I have been passing some time at work just reading your blog. I'm not sure who is more sad...me or you? But I do enjoy reading all of your crazy entries and as usual you crack me up!
Thanks for the blog "Jesse-my-friend".