Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Why Jesse now closes the door when using the restroom: Saturday(Rising Action)

Note to the reader: This is part two of a three part story. I'd recommend reading the one below first if you haven't already. Like most 3 part stories, this one is kind of long and boring(Empire Strikes Back excluded). I promise to bring the punny a little more in part 3.

On Saturday I woke up at around 7:50. I had assumed, incorrectly, that Geremy would call me when they were leaving to hike. Geremy had assumed, also incorrectly, that at a few months shy of 30 I was a big enough boy to set my alarm properly. I'm actually normally very punctual, but in this case I had been out until 3 or 4, and then spent the next two hours lying in my bed trying to sleep with a cheesy grin on my face giggling like a school girl(Read: Stressing over every detail of the previous night).

I called Geremy and he told me they were almost to the mountain. At this point I panicked just a small bit. I was the contact for the twins, Allen, and indirectly a guy who lives in my building, and I was more than just a tad tardy. The major issue here was that Harold had to be at work early, so we had to get the hiking on ASAP.

I ran next door to see if the girls were awake, but they seemed to be in even worse shape than I was. I'm assuming they stayed up all night giggling and talking about how cute their neighbor is, which resulted in a fight over me, possibly involving pillows, but if you remember from the above paragraph, my assumptions are quite often wrong. They weren't feeling very decisive or coherent, so eventually I had to take charge and tell them to go back to bed. Allen lives a ways a way so I had to call him and tell him that I had blown it for him too as there wasn't time to wait on him. As always, he was cool. Feeling a bit like a jackass who just back stabbed someone and voted them off the island I headed off for the mountain.

The hike was a great time as usual. This particular trip featured guest appearances by Geremy, Harold, and Josephine. After the hike Geremy and Joe decided to come back to my house to watch G's Carlos Mencia DVD, and grab some lunch.

Ruth had text messaged me while I was on my way home letting me know that she'd be by the pool. As we got to my condo and stepped out on the balcony, which overlooks the pool, we saw Ruth directly below us wearing quite the bathing suit. It's 11 floors away, so the view wasn't that great, but before I could run to grab my binoculars Geremy decided a better idea would be to throw water off the balcony and see if he could hit her. After a few shouts back and forth Ruth left the pool and a minute later walked right in to my condo and sat on the couch.

After the DVD she had to leave to get ready for a party at 2. She had invited us all to go with her. I wasn't sure if it was an invite to be polite, or an invite due to sincere desire for our presence, but she zipped off before too much discussion. My friends left, and I took a shower. I was still unsure if I was going to a party or not, but a bit later I was sitting at my computer and Rachel walked in, told me we were going to be late, and dragged me out the door before I could protest(Not that I would have).

Jay came with us to the "party", which was more of a large lunch at a Mexican restaurant. Jay being there helped me out since he is pretty talkative, and that saves me from making an ass out of myself. There were at least 40 people there, and I spent a good time just observing and paying attention to others.

My post-party plan for the evening was to visit my mom and then go watch the Sun's game with Miranda and Geremy, but as I left my condo I knocked on the neighbor's door to give them a hard time about always being late(There were voices inside the condo, and they were supposed to have left by then). It turned out that only Ruth was home, which I guess makes her the late one. She invited me in, and we ended up talking for probably at least an hour. Somewhere in the middle the topic turned to myspace.

"We should be myspace friends!" she said with this big smile.
"Myspace... yeah... uhm... well... here's the deal... You see, I keep this uhm... blog."
"Well, it's about me sucking with women, but not really... it's uhm... well, it's supposed to be funny"
"Well..." deep breath, "There may be a story about you and your sister that I wrote like a month ago up there."

At this point it probably could have gone a lot of ways, but she seemed excited, and insisted upon reading it. She also insisted upon me sitting there while she read it. It would be a gross understatement to say that I was slightly uneasy while she read a blog entry titled, "I think I'm in love" that I had written about her, a month before really knowing anything about her, all while I sat two feet away.

After a few nervous moments that included a lot of laughing by her, she finished and told me she loved it and couldn't wait to show her mom. My uneasiness gone, I headed out and met up with my family. The Sun's finally won, and I had a good time.

I finally got back to my house around 11 and having gotten less than 3 hours of sleep the night before, along with my very active day, my body had reached a whole new level of exhaustion. My brother called, drunk and at a party, to tell me about some girl who was in to me, but I was too tired to listen. I hung up and laid down. After what I thought was a few moments I heard from the hallway, "Jesse, are you awake?"

I put my pants on, got my bearings and opened my door to find both of my neighbors outside of my door. One was sitting on the floor, and I was really confused. I picked her up and took them to their condo. I'd love to recount for the reader what happened, but to be honest I don't remember. My stomach hurt really bad and I was trying to think of a polite way to leave. In my tiredness, I believe the best I could come up with was interrupting one of them mid-sentence with "I'm tired" and leaving.


  1. I'm not sure if that counts as taking my advice or not...

  2. You should go to Mcduffy's and consult your therapists (Miranda and Stacy), all the while I can sit in the corner and laugh as they tell you to do something you'll obviously reget yet do it anyway.