Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Please make this product

I was about 12 when it first hit. And it hit in a big way. I was watching a Sun's game with the family. We were set to play the Portland Trail Blazers that night.

Mom walked in to the TV room in the back of the house and asked, "Who are we playing? Oh... Porkland"


I brushed it off. We all make mistakes, and my family is from Arkansas. The fact that we can speak and know how to read puts us a cut above the rest.

In the first half she would scream, "AJ threw the ball away!" after then point guard Kevin Johnson made a bad pass.

I think they call him KJ mom...

Later in the evening mom would announce, "Chamberland is having a good night, but the Sun's really need to find a way to stop Drixoral."

She was of course referring to then Power Forward/Center Tom Chambers and Portland star Clyde "The Glide" Drexler.

At this point the gloves came off, and the entire family started giving mom some good natured ribbing that has continued to this day. I realize the following is a joke by SNL, but if Sony, or some other electronics manufacturer could make this product, I'm not sure there's a price that I wouldn't pay for it.



  1. I resent the dig at Ann Taylor. However, not enough that I send you and Mo photos from the dressing room.

  2. my mother's personal highlights were, and no offense intended on either of our parts...
    we would discuss my history lesson in class regarding neopolitan bonerfart, go out to eat at rudefuckers, and finally catch a movie starring arnold shot-a-n*gger.

    all of which were completely unintentional on her part. i hope i'm never a mom.

  3. KJ is the mayor of Sacramento? What is the deal with people in California? Do they just love the celebrity out there or what?