Friday, March 23, 2007

What does your car say about you?

I was recently clearing out some old documents when I came across a rough draft of the following blog entry. I had scrapped it since I wasn't really happy with it, but seeing as how I've since met the twins, and they both drive VW Beetles, I found it slightly amusing. I went ahead and finished it and cleaned up the text a little.

I've recently discovered that if you drive a Volkswagen, and you're a female then what your car says about you is, "Jesse is into me". I realized today that in the past year I've been attracted to no less(and probably more) than 3 girls who drive VW's. This came as a great shock to me so I decided to do some more research. According to a recent Gallup poll 92.3% of people with mommy parts who drive VW's are attractive to me(Note: Attractive not Attracted). This seemed like quite a significant number until I compared it to the baseline and realized that 88.6% of people with innies instead of outies are attractive to me. Oh well.

If I had written this 10 years ago you could replace "VW" in the above paragraph with "Honda Civic" and I'm sure the same would hold true.

But this post isn't really about your car. It's about my car. Unless of course your car is a German car who's maker rhymes with Bolkswagen and you're in to short nerds, in which case hit me up on myspace.

I'm not much of a car guy, but I love mine. Yellow wouldn't have been my first choice, but now that I've got it, I love it. When I'm down, I put the top back and go for a drive, and I always feel better.

And that's one of the distinguishing features, that it's a convertible. The best part of a convertible is that for some reason people never seem to realize that there is no barrier between them and the outside world.

"Check out this ladie's dress over here. She looks like she bought it at the whore store."
"Yeah, she also looks to be about 8 feet away, and you forgot there's no roof on my car"

"Look at this jackass next to us. Does he think he owns the f%&#ing road?"
"I'm not sure, but he looks like he heard you... Top down TOP DOWN!" I'd point out while dropping it down a gear.

Of course it's not just other people who fall victim to this phenomenon. I myself have been known, on occasion, to forget that the barrier between me and the rest of the world is nonexistent.

I personally have the unique singing ability that I could make the people on American Idol look good. No, not the one's who win, the one's who they show at first just because it's such a goof.

With that in mind, the only place I ever sing is in the car and by myself. With the top down, the wind rushes by loud enough to drown my own voice out, and then it's somewhat tolerable. Of course I sometimes forget and will pull up at a stoplight, look over and see a cute girl. Only then will I realize that I'm still singing my heart out to No Doubt.

Don't judge. Despite how hard that girl was laughing, I owned "Just a girl"


  1. Hey man, like the new layout, looks pretty sweet.

  2. You wanted more of me in my batman costume didn't you?

  3. That sentence could be taken in sooo many ways...

  4. Nice car. You know I love the color, but I like my yellow better. Although you have the convertible, my car's faster and gets more chicks =P
    Maybe one of these days we can go on a cruise, if I ever move out there.