Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Baby Steps - Jesse Eschews Creepy for "The Right Thing"

Last week as I arrived at work I noticed that a car next to where I normally park had been left with its dome light on. This car just happened to be a blue Honda Civic, which just happens to be the same type of car that Linda, the cute tax girl from floor 7 drives.

The logical assessment of this situation is that fate had intervened in my life. I would go up to the 7th floor, find her, and tell her about her car. She'd thank me and offer to take me to lunch to show her gratitude. Cut to a montage of her and I getting to know each other over the next few months including a first kiss at the top of a Ferris wheel, a trip to the zoo, a snowball fight, and finally culminating with me proposing over a candle lit dinner. There'd probably be some Journey track playing in the background of that scene... I'm not saying that's the only way it could go, but I think we can all agree that it's the most likely outcome.

I got up to my floor and decided to run it by Sean once just to double check.
"So, I think I'll run up there, find her, and tell her that her dome light is on." By this point I had our first two children named.
"Yeah, you could do that. Or you could do what a non-psycho would do and just tell security."
"Oh", that thought hadn't actually crossed my mind.


  1. You should have done the 7th floor thing yourself instead of letting the security guard be the hero.

    Let's try again next week:
    Step 1) you let out the air from one of her tires.
    Step 2) march directly up to Floor 7 and ask for Linda.
    Step 3) roll the montage with Journey

  2. JESSE! I can't believe you didn't go up there! Why are you taking advise from coworkers? I'll bet the guy that gave you the bad advise has a secret crush on "Blue Honda Girl" and he feels threatened by you. I'm with "anonymous" with the whole deflating the tire idea. She would never suspect you did it ;-)

  3. Jesse, Jesse, Jesse,

    Individuals are driven together not by feelings of sentimental love but by the irrational impulses of the will. - Arthur Schopenhauer