Thursday, September 14, 2006

Mother is the name for god in the lips and hearts of all children

It was my intention last week to tell the next chapter of the Ana story and mostly finish that story off, but life, as it often does, got in the way and that story will have to be delayed. Today's story will veer slightly from the overall "Jesse Sucks with Women" theme, but falls somewhat in to the same category.

We'll start with a little back story on my mom. First and foremost I have to say she's a pretty amazing woman. She's accomplished a lot in her life. She's got a good job, she's raised 3 kids, and my dad, and she keeps a pretty decent house. I believe most of the goals she set for herself in her life have been completed, and as we(the kids) have left the house she's found herself with too much time on her hands, which has led to a new goal... grandchildren.

As my mom gets older her sense of logic isn't exactly always spot on, but that doesn't stop her from trying. That should be evident from the fact that she tried to set me up with a lesbian. She's told me on numerous occasions that she wants grandchildren from me to which I reply:
"Shouldn't I get married first, or at least have a steady girlfriend?"
"Only if it doesn't slow down the baby making"

Now... those in the know will remember that last year my mom was diagnosed with having a brain aneurysm. She underwent treatment which involved filling the aneurysm, which lay squarely in the center of her brain, with 25 coils of platinum. An interesting side note is that they went in through the inner thigh which is just plain weird to me. I understand how it works, and I'm a nerd so technology isn't that foreign to me, but the inner thigh? They couldn't find a closer point of entry?

This last Monday she went back to the hospital for a check up, and unfortunately the aneurysm had grown. They immediately took her to surgery and went to work. She came out of the day's worth of brain surgery with a morphine IV, an anesthesia hangover, and 16 more coils of platinum in her brain bringing her grand total to 41.

After my dad and brother almost beat up a volunteer nurse, we were allowed back to see her where she was obviously quite groggy from the day's surgery. As she talked she didn't make a lot of sense, and quite often dozed off mid sentence. We were all relieved to find her mostly back to normal and in good health. The doctor warned us that the main thing now was to not get her excited, and to keep her blood pressure low.

The nurse, a cute girl named Dorris, came in to take her blood pressure and check her vitals. As she walked away(Behind the curtain surrounding my mom's bed), my mom, in her half conscious state opened her eyes wide, sat up a little, looked at me and said rather loudly:"She's hot!""Yes, the nurse is quite cute mom...""Hot!!!", she correct me and gave me the thumbs up sign and a slight knowing nod of her head.I nodded back and tried to get her to relax and she finally laid back in the bed and dozed off.

For all of her silliness and forgetfulness, the one thing I have to say about my mom is that she always gets an A+ for effort. She's not always sure what she's doing, but she always tries hard to get it done.

For those curious, mom's now doing well, and resting. She's still at the hospital, but she's finally out of the ICU.

Bonus points for anyone(Aside from my high school chums) who knows the movie that the subject quote is from.

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