2 years ago Miranda turned 21 and decided that for her birthday, a trip to Vegas was in order. The idea of ten or so of my sister's 20-something year old female friends "drunk and crazy" in Vegas combined with the new "What happens in Vegas..." ads that had been running on TV was enough to convince me that it was an event I should attend. I mean somebody had to be there to be the responsible one and, well, look out for them. Yeah, look out for them.
I elected to drive up separately since I hadn't taken Friday off of work, and as always I like to have an escape plan in the event of unforeseen issues, or an attack from the black ninjas. After the 5 and a half hour trip I arrived at the hotel. My mom, who was easily located at the closest slot machine, informed me everyone else was at New York New York, a mile or so down the strip.
I made my way through the crowds of people, down the strip, and finally arrived at the casino. A few text messages later and I found "the group" in the ESPN zone bar where my sister had picked up a fan in the form of a Marine who was on leave.
"Your sister needs to go back to the hotel, she's hammered", Anna(My brother's girlfriend) informed me.
Who wants to take her? I questioned in my head. Funny, no volunteers?
It took a bit longer to convince her that she needed to go, but eventually she relented.
"I'll go too. I'm out of money" a woman I hadn't realized was "with us" turned and said. She was a bit older... maybe 40's?
"Mom's friend?" I mouthed silently to Anna.
She shook her head. "Miranda's"
Really?
As we were about to leave Anna pulled me aside, "Get Miranda a cab. She'll never make it all the way back. And... watch out for Kathy. That woman is crazy"
Krazy Kathy huh? How bad could it be?
Miranda, all drunk and stuff
By the time we reached the street I was practically carrying Miranda while Krazy Kathy was jabbering non-stop about what else they "needed" to do that night. I soon found a cab and asked the driver how much for a ride back to our hotel.
"No thanks." He said. Apparently the trip was too short for him. "For you... 20 dollars" he reconsidered.
I considered telling him where he could go, but my arm was already getting tired of holding my sister up, and we still had about a mile to go. Apparently I had spent too much time weighing my options because Kathy answered for us with a few words that shouldn't be repeated in a family blog such as this, accompanied by a hand gesture(Hint: Not a wave). The taxi driver responded in kind. I quickly corralled the two and steered them north.
A half mile down the road a tour bus pulled up. The doors opened, and people started dancing. Moments later the doors closed and the bus sped off, but not before Kathy could comment, "Hey... there's a bus full of dancing black people"
Miranda, who was now practically passed out, perked up. "Oh" she said. "Hey, there's another one over there." I assume that somewhere in her alcohol consumed mind she decided that it was a game and by the time she had physically pointed out 2 black people she was somehow winning. I wasn't sure if she was winning or not, but I was quite sure at that point who was losing.
Thank you for this Kathy... Thank you oh so much.
"Look at that one," my sister thought she whispered as we approached the hotel, "She's dressed like a whore"
An hour later, feeling somewhat like Frodo after having dropped the ring off, I had gotten my sister in to bed and found my mom. "You're in a room with your Uncle Tim" she told me.
I love my uncle, and hadn't seen him in a while, so I was happy with the arrangement... at least until I opened the door and was assaulted by his snore. They do light rail construction 20 feet from my window in the mornings right now with a jackhammer, and it's more tolerable than my Uncle's snore.
After little sleep, I finally decided to get out of bed, sure that the second day would be better than the first had been.
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