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About the Author

While I play the central role in almost every story in this blog, there's not a lot of actual stuff about me here. To some extent this is on purpose. The simple truth is that I'm really rather boring. I'm not overly political, or blindingly passionate about any cause that I can think of. I've only actually been angry like 3 times in my adult life, and I can tell you in great length when it was, and why.

For the most part, my opinions and thoughts haven't changed a ton since I was about twelve, and I still spend my time in similar ways. My ideal date generally involves tickets that can be exchanged for stuffed animals or eraser tops. That might explain some of my troubles.

I always find myself in the middle of some self-created project normally involving: electronics, music, house rearranging, fort building, or attempting to make something better. Some day all of these will combine when I build an underground secret laboratory and take over the world.

In my Clark Kent job I'm a Software Engineer, which is just a fancy way of saying "Professional Nerd". As a kid there were a lot of different professions I considered, but really only because the idea of being a computer programmer hadn't occurred to me. One day it was an epiphany of, "Wait. Someone would pay me for this? I was going to do that anyhow."

While there's not much here about me, I do sometimes let a little nugget slip through. For example:

25 Things - This was one of those Facebook things that went around, and when I got done writing it I realized I had sort of over done it. While most people put things like, "I like the color purple", I wrote mini-stories from my life. Back off, I'm overcompensating because I'm short.

Jesse Through the Ages - I stole this idea from a fellow blogger since I found it amusing to see how she'd changed over the years. Maybe I should go back and update it post-Pizza and Tacos diet.


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Finally, A Use for Twitter

Sean informed me a few days ago that he had been following "The Real Shaq" on twitter. 

"You realize that 'The Real Shaq' is probably a 5'4 White, 14 year old emo kid who's getting his jolly's from the attention, right?" I asked him.

"I don't know. I think it's really him"

Today Sean and I were discussing rumored trade situations over IM, and the possibility of Shaq being traded to Cleveland.

"Well, I just got a twitter from The Real Shaq, and he's at 5 & Diner right now," Sean informed me.

"Let's go then" I said, assuming that I'd finally put this "Real Shaq" crap to rest.

Twenty minutes later we were pulling up to the restaurant and looking for the big black truck that he's rumored to drive around town. "Maybe that's it" Sean said, pointing at an older, but nice Van and laughing. As we pulled up I saw the Superman symbol on the grill.

Maybe that is it?

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After that, the word Baller was often replaced with Tide. "Man, that car is so Tide", etc.

I later saw a video by Chingy that started with the comment, "Do you want to know what the definition…

Lessons in Personal Contact

For the past two and a half years, since my forceful reintroduction to being social with real people, in real life, I've put forth considerable effort to change certain things about myself to help ease the pain of this reintroduction. One thing I've worked hard on is personal contact. By personal contact I mean: hugging, shaking hands, and to a lesser extent eye contact.

In my younger days these things all came naturally. I knew when I was supposed to hug someone and when I was supposed to shake someone's hand. According to archaeologists using advanced carbon dating, that knowledge was lost to me sometime between 1992 and 1993 and has since not been rediscovered, but that doesn't stop me from trying.

Over the past year I've come up with ways to compensate for these deficiencies. When meeting someone, male or female I always try to shake their hand. When saying goodbye I try to shake their hand and if I'm feeling the hug vibe then I usually make a joke out of it …