I started off writing this story in the comment section of Extensive Vamping as a response to this post. In the end I figured it was decent enough to post here. Enjoy.
One day my friend Rose and I were walking in to Pei Wei when a guy and girl walked out. He had on one of those button up shirts on with the big collar, which was basically the Ed Hardy first date shirt of 2001 for frat boys across the globe.
It was obviously early in the relationship because despite looking like a total ass, the guy held the door open for her and actually seemed interested in the conversation, despite the fact that "I just want to get laid" was written all over his act.
As he walked by he said to his date in that triumphant end-of-my-story-you-should-laugh-now kind of way, "and it was so good that I literally ate my ass off."
At that point Rose and I both turned to look and see if his ass was still there. Thankfully it was.
Then we both literally laughed out loud.