Adam directs a movie

I've been traveling a lot, and at times without net access. That probably doesn't seem like a big deal for you, but for me it's like traveling without my legs. It sucks. At any rate, I leave again on Sunday for Chicago and as I probably won't have time to finish the 2 or 3 blog entries I've been working on I thought I'd leave you with this.

6 or 7 years ago, before "the man" had sucked any uniqueness and motivation out of me, I loved working on projects. The project itself wasn't all that important, as long as it was a goal that I could work hard towards and then give up on somewhere between 60 and 80 percent completion.

With that in mind I was quite happy to assist Adam when he called me with an idea for a school project. He was supposed to do an architectural review of a building and he had chosen the Harkins Centerpoint. Since he was reviewing a theater he decided to do the project in video format. I'd like to think Adam called me first due to my artistic ability, but the fact that I owned a digital camcorder was probably a major selling point too.

Adam's a great guy to do these kinds of things with since he's fairly visual and has a good eye for shooting movies. The only real issue I had with doing projects with him is that he actually completes them, and that's a bit off putting for me. I'm not used to working that way.

I mostly served as camera man, key grip, and best boy. I think Adam did everything else. So without further ado, straight from 2001, the premier of... "11 pictures in a box"

Ana vs. J Random Nerd

At precisely 11:45 last night my phone started vibrating and then in that oh so subtle computer voice announced, "Ana's Birthday in 15 minutes".

"Oh yeah," I thought. "It has been a year".

Ana's last birthday was a celebration at the "Swinger's Room"(Resident's Center) of my then new condo. It was both a high point for us, and the beginning of the end, but this isn't that emo post. I've been asked by my numerous fans(Read: J.R.), "Hey, whatever happened with Ana? You never really finished that story." It's an odd thing because she was the one who originally prompted me to write what would go on to become this blog. I guess maybe that story is hard to finish in an amusing way since I already know how it ends, but in light of her birthday I thought I should share another short story about the day I first thought, "I think I'm in love." For those who need a refresher course, click here.

During our first semester in class together, as noted previously, there were countless blog-able moments from the interaction of the lovely Ana, and her nerdy classmates(myself included). It seemed like a day didn't go by that some guy tried to talk to her, and failed miserably. I was never quite sure if she saw it as much though because she was so quiet. It was quite rare to see her initiate a conversation or joke.

As class wound down on the final day the teacher handed out the standard teacher review sheets and left the classroom. I didn't have a pencil on me, but Ana had offered to let me use hers. I somewhat nervously sat next to her while we discussed our feelings on the class and teacher in general. It wasn't long before a classmate approached. I never really got his name, but I'm sure it was either Eugene or Urkel.

"Hey can I borrow your book?" he asked me as he approached without fear. The book he was eying was sitting on the desk in front of me.

"Oh that book? That's not my book" I set him up. "You'll have to ask Ana" I nodded to the Chilean Princess sitting to my left. It could have easily ended there. Ana could have given him the book, but if it was one thing time would show me it was that nothing was ever easy with this girl. Ana, who was 2 feet away didn't look up or pause from the novel she was writing in the "Suggestions to improve this class" box on her paper.

This should be good, I thought as I leaned back in my chair to watch the Nature Channel's Hunting Habits of the South African Lion that was about to unfold before me.

"Oh... um uh..." Eugene stammered, his confidence suddenly gone. He finally managed to eek out, "Can... can... I borrow your book?"

Ana didn't pause, waiver, or give any indication that she was aware of his existence. He looked at me in question, but I motioned for him to try again.

"Ana... can I borrow your book?" he repeated, this time reaching slowly towards it like a pigeon inching slowly towards that piece of your sandwich that you just dropped.

At this points she paused, completely straight faced, and looked up. "No" she said with a slight hint of irritation before refocusing on her work.

Eugene's mouth opened as if to say, "Oh", but nothing came out as he took a step backwards.

"I'm just kidding silly," she finally relented with a smile so bright that it could end all war and somehow solve world hunger. "Of course you can use my book."

I think I love this girl

Mom Realizes Nobody is Talking About Her

My family has been through 3 major hospital stays in 3 years, but last week, for the first time, it didn't involve Mom. I had gone up to the hospital every day for lunch, and then after work. By Friday night I was exhausted and decided to just stay home and relax a little. My dad was sort of cranky all week(To be expected when you have your chest cracked open), and didn't really seem to enjoy company anyhow.

Ruthie stopped by when she got home and told me she wanted to go wash her car. A little Ruthie time seemed like a good cure for exhaustion and I soon found myself driving a little white VW Beetle in search of a car wash that was still open. I eventually had to resort to Google maps on my phone. (It's no iPhone, but it gets the job done)

As we arrived at the self car wash my phone rang.
"Bueno! ¿Quien es?" I attempted Spanish.
"I'm at the hospital, Mom fell" my sister answered back.
"Fell?"
"Her knee is pretty messed up."
"Messed up bruised? Messed up torn ligaments/surgery?"
"She's in the ER now, they're going to X-Ray it"

My sister has a flare for over dramatizing things that I blame on years of watching Days of Our Lives(Why can't Bo and Hope just be happy?), but on the off chance that it was serious, I figured I should be there.

I quickly finished showing Ruthie the difference between the foaming brush and the high pressure rinse(Sexual joke left as an exercise to the reader). I'm going to go ahead and leave the "Cute Jewish Girl from a well-to-do family has no idea how to work a self service car wash" joke alone too. That one's a fish in a barrel and I'm holding a 12 gauge. I will say however, that she seemed surprised that it took dollar bills, of which she had... one. Maybe the joke is actually one about me being a poor kid and well versed in the workings of said car wash.

At any rate, despite our obvious cultural differences, we had a good time and then rushed home. I could go in to more detail, but I think we've all grown tired of my long winded "I love Ruthie" stories. I dropped her off and after a long drive found myself once again in the hospital.

I decided to first find my mom which wasn't a hard task since she was the belligerent angry lady in the ER. Apparently she had been getting water for my dad and the hospital's ice machine was leaking water all over the tile. Either she didn't notice, or saw an opportunity for a quick buck, but she took a pretty nasty spill. One thing I think we can all agree upon is that a Cuidado Piso Mojado sign would have helped the situation immensely.

When I found my mother she was bitching up a storm heatedly discussing the fairness of paying her co-pay when the hospital was clearly at fault. She didn't seem to be in too much pain to me, since her main focus was on being angry, and not being hurt. A few hours and an ace bandage later and we finally took her home.

The next day she called me from the shoe store so I'm fairly confident that the attention helped more than the ace bandage.

NerdMory Word(s): Let's talk about me for a while

Let's talk about me for a while
- statement, call for attention

1. A statement indicating that the current topic of conversation pales in comparison to one's self.

[ Origin: One evening around the dinner table, my parents were congratulating and fawning over either my brother or me due to some school accolade or achievement(Since it was school, it was probably me). A 7 year old(or thereabouts) Miranda, bored of the conversation, finally decided to add her 2 cents. "Hey Hey Hey" she shouted until everyone turned to look at her, "Let's talk about me for a while" ]

- antonyms
It's all about you today