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While I like to think every post here on Sesquipedalis isn't worth your time or effort, there are a few that have at least come close.

Finally, A Use for Twitter - Some writers spend their entire lives working on their great masterpiece, toiling over ever word selection, and rearranging passages and plots over and over again. While I tend to fret over the smallest details on most stories, I wrote this one in about a half an hour while watching a Sun's game and talking with my family.

A year later, the story has been on CNN and in Time magazine. I've seen it translated in to at least a dozen different languages, and it's even been sited in a few books on twitter. Had I known it was going to be so huge, I might have put more effort in to it. Maybe it's a good thing that I didn't.

A Series of Open Letters - This is a post I actually wrote in my head as it was happening. That doesn't happen too often for me, and I particularly liked the idea of these little bits of info coming together to make a story. I'm not sure if anyone else liked it, but it might be my personal favorite.

The Liang Prank - This isn't so much a story as it is a reciting of the greatest prank I've ever pulled off. Credit has to go to Sean for orchestrating it. It even showed up on Zug about a year later.

The Three Alarm Fire - This story is sadly all true. It's one of the most well encapsulated and sad date stories that I have. It's also my mother's favorite story on my blog, and the one that she likes to have people read when she tells them, "My son has a blog. It's funny." I appreciate that she's proud of me, but it felt a bit odd the day I came in to my parent's house and found my grandmother reading a story about me lubing up my ass.

DJ Jazzy Jesse - What's the Internet good for if you can't screw with people a little?

Hedy Lamarr - I really liked the idea of doing a faux "babe of the day" post that was more about the girl being a nerd than her being attractive. I originally intended to only do one of these, but I ended up going back and doing a few more.

Black Comedians - I wanted to do something a little different, so I tried this out with a controversial topic. Some people got the joke and loved it. Some people got the joke and hated it, but everyone who didn't get the joke absolutely hated it.

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Finally, A Use for Twitter

Sean informed me a few days ago that he had been following "The Real Shaq" on twitter. 

"You realize that 'The Real Shaq' is probably a 5'4 White, 14 year old emo kid who's getting his jolly's from the attention, right?" I asked him.

"I don't know. I think it's really him"

Today Sean and I were discussing rumored trade situations over IM, and the possibility of Shaq being traded to Cleveland.

"Well, I just got a twitter from The Real Shaq, and he's at 5 & Diner right now," Sean informed me.

"Let's go then" I said, assuming that I'd finally put this "Real Shaq" crap to rest.

Twenty minutes later we were pulling up to the restaurant and looking for the big black truck that he's rumored to drive around town. "Maybe that's it" Sean said, pointing at an older, but nice Van and laughing. As we pulled up I saw the Superman symbol on the grill.

Maybe that is it?

We went in, and…

Ballers Use Tide - The evolution of a joke

If there's one thing I can do in this world, it's take a joke that's only mildly funny, and run it in to the ground. Around a year ago I was pleased to find that a coworker of mine, Sean N, shared the exact same trait. You may remember Sean from such previous works as the portrait of two girls riding on a dolphin.

When I first met Sean, his friend J.R. had gotten him calling everything "Baller". Soon I was using "Baller", Sean L was using "Baller"... "Baller" usage was spiraling out of control at the office.

Just as the "Baller" phenomenon started to die down the following picture was taken with the simple caption, "This is how Ballers do the laundry"

Soon a comment showed up that read, "Ballers Use Tide"

After that, the word Baller was often replaced with Tide. "Man, that car is so Tide", etc.

I later saw a video by Chingy that started with the comment, "Do you want to know what the definition…

Lessons in Personal Contact

For the past two and a half years, since my forceful reintroduction to being social with real people, in real life, I've put forth considerable effort to change certain things about myself to help ease the pain of this reintroduction. One thing I've worked hard on is personal contact. By personal contact I mean: hugging, shaking hands, and to a lesser extent eye contact.

In my younger days these things all came naturally. I knew when I was supposed to hug someone and when I was supposed to shake someone's hand. According to archaeologists using advanced carbon dating, that knowledge was lost to me sometime between 1992 and 1993 and has since not been rediscovered, but that doesn't stop me from trying.

Over the past year I've come up with ways to compensate for these deficiencies. When meeting someone, male or female I always try to shake their hand. When saying goodbye I try to shake their hand and if I'm feeling the hug vibe then I usually make a joke out of it …