Monday, April 19, 2010

Nerd Word(s): Literally

Literally
- Adverb

1. Often misused on purpose as a means of mocking a person who overuses the word, or uses it incorrectly.

[ Origin: For some reason, the incorrect usage of literally has always rubbed me the wrong way like a stripper at a club in the bad part of town. ]

- see also
1. Figuratively
2. Totally

- examples
1. "I literally drank so much that I should have died."
"Literally?"
"Yeah, literally"
2. "He's literally the greatest basketball player in the world"
"Your cousin Tommy?"
3. http://evohno.blogspot.com/2010/04/lets-never-go-back.html

That Must Have Hurt

I started off writing this story in the comment section of Extensive Vamping as a response to this post. In the end I figured it was decent enough to post here. Enjoy.

One day my friend Rose and I were walking in to Pei Wei when a guy and girl walked out. He had on one of those button up shirts on with the big collar, which was basically the Ed Hardy first date shirt of 2001 for frat boys across the globe.

It was obviously early in the relationship because despite looking like a total ass, the guy held the door open for her and actually seemed interested in the conversation, despite the fact that "I just want to get laid" was written all over his act.

As he walked by he said to his date in that triumphant end-of-my-story-you-should-laugh-now kind of way, "and it was so good that I literally ate my ass off."

At that point Rose and I both turned to look and see if his ass was still there. Thankfully it was.

Then we both literally laughed out loud.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Are You Coming or Going? (A note from the author)

I originally wrote this on December 2nd. I didn't publish it though because I still had some hope of getting my mojo back, and it seemed a little too self serving. Tonight I went back to take a look through my half finished posts to see if anything sparked my interest and found this post.

I realize it's been quite some time since I've written here. The truth is that there's a very specific emotional state that I need to be in to write what I call, "A Sesquipedalis Story", and that state and I just haven't been able to find each other lately.

I was telling someone about my blog tonight and getting a little excited when I realized it's not really fair to call myself a blogger if I don't, you know, actually blog. The problem lately is that I feel like I've said everything I could possibly ever have to say, and then some. I'm just really a quiet guy who's not all that opinionated. This isn't a case of writer's block, it's just the repetitive nature of life.

I said something absolutely idiotic to a girl in the lobby yesterday. I was excited to have a small story to blog about until I sat down to write it and realized, "Been there, done that."

I'm still around, and I plan on blogging again sometime in the near future. I've been kicking around the idea of taking the blog in an entirely new direction, or starting a different one. I'm not really sure though. If you have any suggestions, feel free to let me know.

While I'm gone, I hope everyone is well.

Jesse