Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Still With the Elevator

I never really planned to have an entire section of my blog devoted to elevator stories, yet here we are again. I guess the thing about it is, elevators are awkward no matter what. When sharing a ride your choices come down to forced social interaction, forced social avoidance, or playing with your phone and pretending to text/check email/avoid eye contact. I normally go for choice number three, but sometimes the elevator has plans of its own.

I woke up late today, and found myself rushing through the morning routine. There isn't really a late per se at my job, but I was intending to leave at a reasonable hour, and as such I really should have been in earlier than I was.

I got to the building around nine and grabbed the elevator that was open. It's a simple procedure that I've managed to perform correctly for the past five years, but today when I pressed the button labeled "15", the elevator did something different.

It didn't move

I waited a moment, but nothing. A quick step out and glance at the other elevators gave no clue as to how to solve my predicament. I decided that before going to talk to someone I should give the elevator one last try.

The "Door Close" button was feeling my frustration when the elevator finally relented and the doors began to close. At the same time I looked up to see a woman who resembled a thirty-something year old Kim Kardashian trying to get on.

I caught the door just in time. She thanked me, and in turn I explained why I had been so focused on the button panel.

"The door wouldn't close for the last three minutes. I guess it just wanted to wait for you."

I was fairly pleased with myself for making what seemed to me, an appropriate comment that was at least slightly amusing.

Kim apparently didn't share my amusement. She looked at me as if I had just asked her for her sign in some Scottsdale bar and dryly said, "Charming"

One

A black Jetta pulled up outside my house and I jumped in without a moment's hesitation. Hopping in a near stranger's car didn't...